By Mandi Em of Healthy Living for Hot Messes
A woman in Pensacola, Florida is in some hot water with the law today, even though she is being hailed as a hero by women all over the world online.
Dorothea Wallace, also known as “Dee,” was caught drugging her husband with tranquilizer-laced turkey sandwiches before shopping trips to places like Target.
“Honestly, whenever I was looking to browse my husband would just keep eyeing his watch and sighing and shit and I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore,” said Dee.
According to Dee, when she would announce that she was going to go shopping, her husband always wanted to come with, even though he would spend the entire time acting miserable, bored, and rushing her.
Dee elaborated, “I could have said he just wasn’t allowed to come with me but then it would be a whole thing, and honestly I just don’t have time for that sort of crap when paper towels are on sale.”
Her solution? Giving her husband a turkey sandwich laced with Xanax and Valium. After drugging her husband without his knowledge for months, Dee was finally caught when he had some abnormal lab results after a traffic ticket dispute.
She has now been charged and is awaiting trial. Her husband wishes to remain anonymous.
Although she has a long legal battle ahead of her, Dee is becoming an online legend to women everywhere who are sick and fucking tired of their men arm-crossing and watch-tapping all the fun out of their shopping trips.
She has been memed, autotuned, and photoshopped, the most famous being an image of her as the Holy Madonna, clutching a Butterball turkey and pill bottle, with a halo.
So take note, men: if you want to join your wife shopping, make sure your phone is fully charged and shut the hell up.
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About the Author
Mandi Em is the content creator for Healthy Living for Hot Messes, a website that aims to helps your average Jane get healthy AF (without being a dick about it). Mandi can usually be found whining about her kids on Twitter, and posting her food and nonsense on Instagram, and Facebook.