Just when you thought things couldn’t get any worse, it turns out that the very thing we are using to protect us from Covid-19 could be killing us.

To be fair, the reported deaths came from people who ingested the sanitizers orally, and we’re all smart enough not to do that, right? But are children? No! Kids are dumb. Not your kid, of course, but all the rest of them. And we can’t expect our sweet little Madisons and Masons to know the difference between cleanliness and deadliness.

On the real though, the FDA has issued a recall of 69 (I assure you this is not a satire piece) different hand sanitizers that have been shown to contain Methanol. According to the FDA:

Substantial methanol exposure can result in nausea, vomiting, headache, blurred vision, permanent blindness, seizures, coma, permanent damage to the nervous system or death. Although all persons using these products on their hands are at risk for methanol poisoning, young children who accidently ingest these products and adolescents and adults who drink these products as an alcohol (ethanol) substitute, are most at risk.

Some of these are the same as the reported symptoms for Covid-19. Well, ain’t that a bitch? Also, I want to stress again the importance of NOT USING HAND SANITIZER AS AN ALCOHOL SUBTITUTE. Seriously, you can get a fifth of your liquor of choice for like five bucks at the corner store and be much better off.

For those people using hand sanitizers in the traditional sense, Methanol can be absorbed through the skin as well. Even worse, the companies are said to be using misleading advertising because they’re listing the ingredients as ethyl alcohol and fraudulently claiming to be FDA approved. So you can’t just check the list of ingredients on your bottle.

While following hand-washing guidelines is still the recommended method of protecting ourselves, hand sanitizers can be a quick and easy alternative in a lot of situations. With many stores and online vendors sold out of sanitizer products, it’s clear that a large number of people have been unknowingly exposing themselves to a hazardous poison.

This is not to say that all hand sanitizer products are bad, but it might behoove you to check the FDA list of recalled products to ensure that you’re protecting your family rather than Jim Jonesing them.