By Jorrie Varney
It all started on a quiet morning. Regina Love-Buckett was scrolling through her newsfeed when she saw her opportunity to make a difference. Love-Buckett’s Facebook friend, Felicia Bigh, had posted about her new Diaper Pail. Bigh’s brief post explained that she received a Diaper Pail as a baby shower gift, and it was “the best gift ever!”
After seeing the post, Love-Buckett—mother to two-week-old Velvet Sapphire—immediately jumped at the opportunity to inoculate the public with her wisdom. She dusted the Cheetos crumbs from her lap and drafted the most informative response she could muster.
“OMG. I can’t believe you are using a Diaper Pail. WTF? Diaper Pails are worthless and a waste of money. Is it really that hard to carry the diaper out to the dumpster?! #gross #diaperpailsaredumb #everyonehatesyou”
Mere seconds after Love-Buckett’s comment was posted, the topic began trending on social media in light of this astounding revelation. Within an hour the post had gone viral. Parents across the nation were in shock over Love-Buckett’s claim—could it be true? Was a Diaper Pail really nothing more than worthless plastic masquerading as a literal shit storage system?
Before long Diaper Pails were being cast into the streets and tossed into dumpsters, discarded without a second thought, in favor of using a trash can—not specifically designed to hold soiled baby pants.
When asked for her reaction to Love-Buckets’s comment, Bigh was notably shaken. “I never knew there was another option. I always believed they wouldn’t let you take your baby home from the hospital unless you had a Diaper Pail. To find out I could just throw diapers in the trashcan we already have…well, it’s upsetting.”
Love-Buckett’s Facebook comment has changed everything. If not for her, parents may have continued using Diaper Pails, oblivious to the options they have when it comes to infant defecation.
“Now we know the right way to do it,” says one parent, who wishes to remain anonymous. “I just wish I had known with my first two children.” Her voice is barely audible as she chokes back sobs of shame.
The next time you consider scrolling past a Facebook post you disagree with, remember Regina Love-Buckett and her incredible contribution to society: shit will never be the same.
Bigh notes that Love-Buckett is her sister’s friend’s brother’s cousin, and that is how they are connected on Facebook.
The creator of Diaper Pail couldn’t be reached for comment.
*****
About the Author
Jorrie of Close to Classy is a working mom of two whose parenting style can best be described as Roseanne meets Mary Poppins. She aspires to own furniture without stains and enjoy a shower without an audience. Her writing has appeared on Scary Mommy, Mamapedia, Sammiches and Psych Meds, and Mamalode. She is also a regular contributor for Urban Mommies. You can follow her antics on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.