Parenting

Don’t Be THAT Mom

By Kelly J. Riibe

The grind is real in motherhood, and there are so many parent traps along the way that a mom can get derailed. Falling permanently into one of the groups listed below may lead to being less of a support system, less of a guardian, and less of an all-around good person. So take heart and Don’t Be That Mom:

1-Don’t Be the “Village Can Handle It” Mom

Don’t be the mom whose daughter eats dinner with friends constantly or has a son who is always knocking on the neighbor’s door for snacks and play dates. This frequent interaction of others doing the parenting is hard on adult friendships and also difficult for family life because memorable moments get missed.

Moms have one chance at guiding their little ones through childhood, so no matter how full the work week is or how tiresome the stay-at-home duties get, kids are only kids for a brief window of time. Don’t miss it! Don’t miss the conversations, the sidewalk chalk art, the backyard baseball games, the water fights, the track meets, or the chances to discipline. Leaving kids to be raised by a village sounds good in theory, but the circle of parents actually doing the monitoring are grouchy at always having to entertain, manage, and care for a child that is not legally one of their own. Plus there is never, ever a substitute for Mom.

2-Don’t Be the “Everything Must Be Documented on Social Media” Mom

Facebook should be meant for funny jokes, cute pictures, and for following a worthy news story, pop culture icon, or hilarious parenting blog. It should not be a 24-7 itinerary. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and bowel movements do not have to be painstakingly documented for all acquaintances to see. Daily posts are okay, but make sure they are not daily rants.

Life is not absolute perfection. It is also not so dramatic that passive aggressive posts (directed at nameless enemies) are warranted. Social media sharing is better when it is focused and lighthearted, so don’t just go for a post that is keeping up with the Joneses or the Kardashians.

3-Don’t Be the “My Sad Story is Worse Than Your Sad Story” Mom

Everyone has a sad story, and some of them are, in fact, very, very sad. They can be so heartbreaking, that an adequate emoji does not exist. Some sad tales are too personal or too hard to discuss via Twitter. Be a listening ear when another mom is sharing a tragic moment, and don’t automatically try to relate or top the story.

Do not be the parent who has to have the hardest life, the worse moments, and all of the problems every single second. Take it in perspective and be a good friend.

4-Don’t Be the “My Way is the Only Way Mom”

Everyone is entitled to an opinion, and how a mom runs her own household is something no intelligent person should disturb. However, while only eating organic and exclusively playing with wooden blocks works for some, it is not the “be all end all” for everyone. No child rose to superiority solely because their maternal guardian avoided Red Dye #8 and only allowed viewings of Baby Einstein on the tablet.

Be considerate of all parenting circles and also mindful that wanting the best for one’s child is great, but going to the extreme may socially cripple a kiddo. Best buddies that aren’t allowed to eat high fructose corn syrup and have non-negotiable, early bedtimes are not a hot commodity on the playground and may get replaced by the kid who is permitted access to the television show Henry Danger.

5-Don’t be the “Pinterest Is My Life” Mom

Pinterest can be wonderful when it comes to gift giving and snack making, but it can also be a nagging intrusion to motherhood. Sometimes Jello should just be Jello for a holiday side dish and not frozen in multiple shades of red and green on a wooden stick to remind others that there is a reason for the season.

Craft projects on Pinterest are neat, especially for keeping little ones busy on rainy days. However, feel good in knowing that a coloring book with crayons gets the job done almost as well as sticky hand prints of glitter glue, smudged on cardboard, to resemble a family tree.

Too much Pinterest is hard on a mom’s psyche. Kids do not need step-by-step directions to be creative. Their sponge-soaking brains are capable of being imaginative all on their own. Vincent Van Gogh’s mother did not have Pinterest and it worked out okay for him.

6- Finally, Don’t be the “Overly Judgemental Mom”

All moms have probably been in one of the above-mentioned categories at least once (if not multiple times, or maybe in more than one group on several different occasions). No one is perfect, especially in parenthood, so keep the judging of others and oneself to a minimum.

There is no certain way to mother, except to LOVE and LOVE HARD. Kids would much rather remember the mom who giggled with them at jokes before thinking about strict screen times; plus Mom’s hugs will always matter way more than homemade finger puppets.

So don’t let the lady down the street be in charge of dinner and don’t have a psychotic meltdown because the Pinterest lemonade recipe tastes sour. It is the constant mother who knows her limits and still manages to love beyond them who makes for the best memories.

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About the Author

Kelly J. Riibe has three kiddos, a husband, a Jack Russell Terrier, and a mildly curbed addiction to Diet Coke. Keeping busy for her involves staying home with her children and also finding work as a freelance writer. She has been published in Nebraska Magazine, Heels on a Farm, MockMom, and is the co-writer for the blog: www.familyfootnote.com. Follow her on Twitter: @familyfootnote & @KJRiibe.