As anyone knows, “What’s for dinner?” is the most annoyingly overused question in the human language. Want to ruin someone’s day? Go ahead, ask them what’s for dinner, ONE MORE TIME. Especially when you are a parent and your beloved offspring take particular glee in repeating said question eleventy-billion times a day. Blessed be the fruit.
And as much as we may hate cooking day after day after painstaking day, thanks to the advent of social media and the worldwide web, we have unlimited meal options at the click of our fingers. We are no longer constrained by the meat and potato recipes found in the pages of our mother’s Joy Of Cooking cookbook.
Google “chicken recipes” and you will find over 3 MILLION results. Endless pages of fried, baked, roasted, braised, grilled, stuffed, and slow-cooked options. Countless numbers of pasta, stir-frys, casseroles, and more.
Each entry is accompanied by pictures and videos of perfectly curated and impeccably presented meals to satisfy any palate. But none quite like this one: a cooking video that brings an entirely new meaning to the term, “food porn.” And OMG, this ain’t your mama’s recipe.
The video, posted by Chefclub Network to Facebook, is of “Easy Stuffed Chicken Breasts! Smothered and covered in jalapeño popper realness!”
And I promise you will never look at chicken the same way again. Like, EVER.
And while the video itself is something Hugh Heffner would definitely approve of, it’s the comments, you guys, that take this to a whole other level. Down down down. Right into the gutter, you dirty birds.
Because when it comes to salacious culinary exploits, people just can’t hold back. Apparently.
Here are just a few of our favorites:
Warning: This video is for “mature” audiences only.
Then again, maybe not.
As for the chicken itself? Whatever you call it, just don’t call it “easy.”
But you can call it yummy. As in, yummy enough to “eat.”
Just don’t rush it. It’s going to take at least 30 minutes to get hot and ready.
After all, it takes TIME to really get it right. Prepping matters.
And so does size. No matter what she tells you.
And if you don’t have certain ingredients handy? Like with any recipe, substitutions can always be made.
While the video clearly demonstrates how to make easy stuffed chicken breasts, its PornHub-worthy presentation has raised a lot of questions. Namely, what came first? The chicken or the…nevermind.
However, this isn’t the only question to come up.
It’s possible this commenter has been quarantined alone for a little bit too long. But hey, we’re not here to judge. Except for this person. She’s here to judge.
At least you can take comfort in knowing, you aren’t the only one. See you all in hell.
And just in case you have a sudden insatiable desire for chicken, you’re about to get lucky. This isn’t the first video of its kind by the Chefclub Network. Apparently, this is a repeat performance. Check out their Facebook page for more. I highly recommend the Chicken Cordon Bleu.