I don’t often do the Twitter; it’s kind of a scary, weird world of I Have No Idea What’s Going On in Here (definitely not as scary and weird as Tumblr, but still). I have, however, found myself logging in more frequently lately, and OH MY GOD, are there some funny peeps on there. Like, […]
Humor
Oh, the Teacher’s Life Woes!
[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to your classroom! Roll out of the hay! You have knowledge in your head. You have food in your tummy. No matter what those kids say, you’re nobody’s dummy! Inside that big bag you have lessons galore. No name calling can stop you, not […]
Why I Hate People: An Exploration of People’s Suckitude
I hate people. Not as in the I-don’t-like-humans-as-a-whole sort of way, but rather as in the some-people-suck-so-hard-I-want-to-nut-punch-their-unborn-progeny sort of way. You know that sort of way, right? First, there are the perpetrators of mass torment and genocide. Their level of suckitude is so vile, it’s impossible to surpass. Next there are the child abusers and […]
The Language Assassin: Are You a Victim?
There’s a silent killer among the population. It’s not heart disease or even cancer, though these certainly can be both silent and deadly. The killer of which I speak does not discriminate based on health or genetic makeup. The killer of which I speak transcends socioeconomic and educational boundaries. The killer of which I speak […]
15 Things You’re Doing Right Now to Royally Screw Up Your Kids
Spend any amount of time online and you’ll see it: post upon post upon post about what you need to start or stop doing immediately to avoid thrusting your children into a lifetime of therapy or, worse, into a lifetime of serial killing. Nobody wants a serial killer for a kid. Unfortunately, that’s exactly the […]
A Message for Parents on Conference Night
Spring parent/teacher conferences are coming up, and boy are we teachers excited. Really, super excited. I had planned on writing a tongue-in-cheek post about them, but I made some poor decisions last night. They involved my family and three magnum-sized jugs of wine. As a result, my brain can’t do the thinky thing. So here’s […]
Which {Insert Author, Rock Legend, Parent Type, Obscure Childhood Vaccine} Are You?
OK, so you guys have all seen the Which ___ Are You? quizzes making the rounds on social media, right? I think most of them are hosted on Buzzfeed, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some other website names attached to these things as well. When I first saw one, I thought it was cute, […]
How Losing One’s Hairstylist is Like Being Abandoned in a Dumpster
I found out today that my hairstylist is moving. And while I’m happy that an exciting new journey awaits her, inside I’m screaming and crying and developing serious abandonment issues. I don’t spend a lot of money on personal pampering — no manicures, pedicures, massages, or waxing. But I do spend money on my hair. […]