[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] Let me begin by saying thank you to Mrs. Sammich for letting me post on her blog. I feel the need to thank her not only because she is a brilliant mama blogger who is letting me stink up her space with my venting about my journey to future mamahood, but […]
Humor
35 Teacher Resolutions to Ring in the New Year
Hey, teachers! Making New Year’s resolutions for your personal lives? How about making some for your professional lives with these 35 teacher resolutions to ring in the new year? As a teacher this year, I resolve: 1. To not roll my eyes during pointless inservices and staff meetings. 2. To meet with colleagues for an […]
My MIL Gave My Son a Bath Baby and Death Isn’t That Bad, I Guess
My mother-in-law bought our middle son a bath baby because he won’t stop manhandling his real baby brother. For those of you who have no idea what a bath baby is, it’s a baby that you can play with in the bath. Supposedly. She thought maybe our son could direct some of his overbearing attention […]
2014 Gag Gift Guide
Looking for the perfect gift for that white elephant party you’ve got coming up? Or maybe you’re just in the market for a little something that’ll elicit two GUFFAWS and a HOOT on Christmas morning. Whatever your pleasure, check out my top Amazon* gag gift choices plus one totally serious gift choice, complete with personal […]
All I want for Christmas is two butt cheeks…
…that are as plump as juicy peaches instead of as saggy as bags of rotten cottage cheese. Among other things. As our kids prepare their wishlists for Santa, I’m preparing a wishlist of my own, and it goes a little something like this. All I want for Christmas is: For the baby to sleep through […]
Sh*t That’s Better Than Black Friday Shopping
I hate Black Friday shopping. I’ve been exactly once, and I would rather have my lady bits scoured with a rusty Brillo pad than endure that shit again. For one, there are the people. Furthermore, there are the people. Finally, the fucking people. Too many people in one place willing to trample one another to […]
Postpartum Insight (on the Reals)
I am just three days shy of three weeks postpartum with my third child (apparently three is the magic number), and I made the mistake of looking at myself naked in the mirror this morning. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I’m not sure there’s anything else I could say that would capture the reality of that shit show. […]
10 Things That Are Impossible to Do in Late Pregnancy
I am 2 weeks away from my scheduled c-section and 4 away from my technical due date, and I can’t even see myself remaining pregnant through tomorrow, let alone half a month. I’m so uncomfortable and in pain and over this pregnancy that I’m about to reach up in there and pull out my own […]