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Humor

16 Parent Phrases Decoded

August 10, 2013 By Lola Lolita

[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] As parents, we have a vernacular all our own — things we tell our children, which we either A.) Say because we don’t know what else to do, B.) Don’t really mean but think sounds good anyway, or C.) Really, really swear to God we’re gonna do if they keep it […]

Filed Under: Humor, Parenting Tagged With: dictionary of parenting terms, things parents say

School Supply List: A Teacher’s Fantasy

August 5, 2013 By Lola Lolita

I’ve seen a lot of posts on Facebook about school supply purchases my friends have or are about to make for their children entering elementary school, and I’ve gotta say, these lists are insane, you guys: 10 packages of dry erase markers, 17 boxes of crayons, top-of-the-line running shoes, four pounds of sticky notes, a […]

Filed Under: Education, Humor, Life, Parenting Tagged With: humorous school supply list, teacher school supply wish list, things teachers wish they could require

32 Life Rules I’ve Learned in 32 Years

July 23, 2013 By Lola Lolita

1. If you have a crap ton of diapers on hand, you won’t need them.  If you don’t, your kid will shit the equivalent of an erupting volcano. 2. If something is due tomorrow, you can bet your ass your hard drive will crash/your printer will run out of ink/your internet connection will fail/your soft […]

Filed Under: Humor, Life Tagged With: humorous life rules, life rules, rules of life, rules to live by

How To Put a Toddler To Bed in 5 Steps

July 9, 2013 By Lola Lolita

Step 1: Carve out 2 hours of time.  You’re gonna need that shit (if not more). Step 2: Put on the night night diaper.  This one’s a bit trickier than the first step. What you’re gonna want to do is block all exits first.  Containment is key.  (If that little monster escapes, you’re gonna need […]

Filed Under: Humor, Parenting Tagged With: funny steps to put toddler to bed, humorous steps for putting toddlers to bed, steps to put toddler to bed

I can’t tell if my car wants me to play the trumpet or if there’s something wrong with my honker.

June 9, 2013 By Lola Lolita

So as I was driving home this evening, one of the warning doohickeys on my car dashboard lit up and started dinging, indicating something was amiss.  This normally wouldn’t be a big deal (I’ve been known to treat those things as suggestions rather than emergency alerts in the past), except I was over two hours […]

Filed Under: Humor, Life Tagged With: car warning lights, weird car warning lights, what do car warning lights mean

The Non-Domestic Mom’s Guide to Hosting a Birthday Party

June 3, 2013 By Lola Lolita

Let’s say you’ve been taking Junior to a lot of peers’ birthday parties lately.  They could be 4th birthday parties.  Maybe 5th.  Maybe even 6th, 7th, or 8th.  Eventually, Junior’s going to ask for or expect his/her own birthday party. You could say no, of course, but then you’d be The Meanest Mommy/Daddy on the […]

Filed Under: Humor, Parenting Tagged With: funny tips for hosting a kid's birthday party, hosting a kid's birthday party, how to host a kid's birthday party

Places I’d Rather Sleep Than The Cabin I Stayed In On Memorial Day

May 29, 2013 By Lola Lolita

  Each year on Memorial Day, my family travels to a state park where we rent a room at the inn or a cabin and then partake in things like cooking out, hiking, swimming, and generally enjoying nature. And in so doing, we expect to enjoy ourselves. I mean, we are spending quite a bit of money […]

Filed Under: Humor, Life Tagged With: dirty cabins, dirty hotel rooms, gross places to sleep

“Mommy, My Butt Hurts” and Other Signs You’re a Parent

May 20, 2013 By Lola Lolita

Yesterday, I announced my intent to write a book titled “Mommy, My Butt Hurts” and Other Indicators I’m Living The Dream.  I’m still going to do that sometime between learning American Sign Language and how to play the guitar.  (Put it on your calendars.  At this rate, it should be out in 2036.)  In the […]

Filed Under: Humor, Parenting Tagged With: parenting humor, signs you're a mother, signs you're a parent

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