By Marlene Kern Fischer of Thoughts From Aisle Four

A conference of forensic doctors from around the world, which convened in Munich, Germany, has concluded that guns actually do kill people.

The conclusion was reached unanimously after only ten minutes of analysis and discussion.

One doctor from Sweden said she did not understand Americans who persisted in claiming that guns were not an instrument of murder. Having worked in an emergency room for many years before becoming a specialist in the field of forensic medicine, the doctor said the bullets from guns caused internal wounds, massive amounts of bleeding and were directly responsible for death.

She stated, “My medical training and my experience have given me no choice but to state unequivocally that gunshot wounds are deleterious to one’s health.”

The team put out a statement which read, in part, “While we recognize that there is certainly a myriad of other tools that can be used to kill people, there do not seem to be any weapons that we can identify that are used regularly to cause as many injuries and casualties as guns.”

Another doctor, who was attending the conference from Japan, stated that although he saw very few gun-related deaths in his country due to strict gun control laws, he agreed with the 272 other doctors and scientists. He said he didn’t understand why Americans persisted in believing that guns did not kill people, adding that he was confused why “anyone and everyone, regardless of mental capacity, criminal background or other indication of danger or incompetence, should be able to acquire almost any type of firearm in unlimited quantities, as well as an infinite amount of ammunition.”

He also said he felt that “every person should be able to reach the same conclusion that we have.”

Since the conference ended so quickly, the doctors planned on sightseeing and sampling beer and bratwurst during the rest of their weeklong stay.

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About the Author

Marlene Kern Fischer is a wife, mother of three sons, food shopper extraordinaire, lifelong writer, blogger and college essay editor. She graduated cum laude from Brandeis University with a degree in literature. Her work has been featured on CollegiateParent, Kveller, Grown and Flown, the Erma Bombeck Writers’s Workshop, Her View From Home, Beyond Your Blog and Better After 50. You can read more of her work on her blog: Thoughts From Aisle Four.