By Kari of My Questionable Life “I can’t take it anymore!” I screamed while cutting the crust off peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. My startled husband looked up from reading the newspaper to suspiciously inquire about what day of the month it was and, in a fit of rage, I […]
A local mother-of-three was admitted to a rehab facility for treatment after becoming addicted to the parent portal. The doctor who admitted her said that he had been seeing her condition more frequently and had even suggested a formal diagnosis for the disorder be added to the Diagnostic and […]
By Heather Sadlemire An average preschool in Upstate New York has finally followed in the footsteps of more elite schools with longer waiting lists and has banned smiling, reports say, after a mother complained to administration. A school administrator, who wished to remain anonymous due to her confidentiality agreement with the […]
Jennica Windsor, age 4, has decided she no longer likes pasta. It was her favorite food in the two months immediately leading up to this revelation. Despite the ziti pasta being cooked exactly as it had been cooked every single night for the past 59 days, topped with the exact […]
By Kathryn Higgins The human teenager has many natural habitats, most of which used to be your natural habitat. They include your home and car (but strewn about with soiled clothing), jewelry (which may have formerly been yours), iPads, besmirched plates, nail polish remover tottering on your wooden coffee table, candy […]
By Grace Per Lee Dear Facebook Member, Thank you for joining the world’s best social networking forum. Here are a few hints to help you be successful: Be happy, but not too happy. By all means, let us know when good things happen. But if a lot of good things happen […]
By Michelle Riddell In an unprecedented, unanimous vote, the shareholders at Necco Co. rejected Donald Trump’s offer to brand a limited edition series of the candy maker’s iconic conversation hearts. The offer, purported by the Trump Corporation to be “tremendously huge for a loser company like NECCO,” would entail stamping […]
By Mandy Waysman of ohmandelynn.com One mom seeks to capitalize on the Trump magic by using his speech writing prowess to her advantage. Of course, she would rather just have Russia hack their brains and be done, but that wasn’t an option this time. Plus, all the words he uses are […]