All right, people, let’s huddle.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and thought your skin looked like a sad, weather-worn leather sack? Have you ever wished your skin could be brighter, smoother and rejuvenated?
What would you do if I told you there a was a way to get the results you crave… and it’s all natural and organic AF?
Chelsea Lewis, a beauty expert who has worked with tons of celebrities, has just dished out to Femail the secret to a brighter, more beautiful face. And in the process, made us wonder just whose side she’s on.
The secret sauce?
Lewis cites face masks that use semen are wrinkle-reducing and smoothing and help reduce the look of spots.
Using your partner’s sperm as a mask is full of a compound called spermine, which is an antioxidant which can help reduce wrinkles, smooth the skin, prevent acne or spots and give you overall healthy-looking skin.”
Now, she doesn’t say how to go about harvesting the… ahem… active ingredient. This could probably go a few different ways. I mean, you could always go the “farm to table” route (if I ain’t being too subtle), shove your man in the bathroom with a Dixie cup and a copy of the 1974 Sears catalog, or maybe just tell him the next time he’s done with his favorite sex toy, you need the leftovers for “beauty reasons.”
I also noticed that she mentioned getting your “partner’s sperm.” What about if you don’t have a partner? What then? Milk a friend? Grab a balaclava and knock off a sperm bank? Start a GoCumdMe? Inquiring minds want to know.
And not only does she recommend the two-ball compound for brightening and freshening up your skin, but she also recommends getting busy on the regular. Madness!
Lewis stated the following about the role of sexual intercourse in beauty:
It’s one of the best ways to boost oxygen and improve circulation to the skin, which will give you an immediate glow.
I mean, back in my day they just recommended you pinch your cheeks and called it a day, but ok.
So the next time you have an important meeting or event, make sure to take a little bit of your prep time and set it aside for an oxygen-boosting, glow-tastic bang sesh.
At the very least it will help to put a smile on your face… and maybe some other things, too.
Got a friend who’s into beauty? Share this shit and have a LOL!