These are real life things people have said to me in public places. I’m sure most of us hear at least one of these remarks every time we leave the house. I bite my tongue and smile politely with a humble response (usually), but the responses in my head are much, much different.
1. I don’t know how you do it.
I don’t have a choice. I am their mom and I just have to be.
2. You sure have your hands full!
Yours look empty, want to help?
3. Where are your kids?
I left them home alone. They should be fine.
4. When are you going to have another baby?
When these ones move out.
5. You’re not having any more kids, are you?
Right this second? I sure hope not!
6. Whoa, what have you been feeding him? He is huge!
Mostly brownies and ice cream.
7. He sure is tiny; are you feeding him enough?
Well, he is fasting right now.
8. Oh, poor baby; your Mama didn’t put socks on your feet?
Yeah, he HAS gotten frost bite before from a trip to the grocery store. I had better watch that.
9. Baby is crying; he must be hungry!
Yep, there are no other reasons a baby could possibly be crying.
10. You have two boys? Oh, I’m sorry.
You will be sorry if you don’t take that back right now!
11. You look tired.
I was up with a teething baby all night last night, but I didn’t realize I was tired until you pointed it out. Thanks for letting me know.
12. Aww, why is he sad?
Because he is 2; same reason I’m about to cry.
13. Just wait until they are teenagers.
Just wait to do what? Are you suggesting I just sit around and wait for them to be teenagers? Can I do that?
14. How does he sleep?
With his eyes closed.
15. Oh, you’re giving him a bottle?
Yep, someone in aisle 12 just told me that he was hungry.
16. The planet is over populated; people shouldn’t have so many kids.
Ok, I’ll line my kids up and you can choose which ones to put back.
17. You are doing a great job and your kids are so adorable and well behaved. (OK, nothing wrong with this one.)
Did my husband pay you to say that? Can you always grocery shop at the same time as me? Can I buy you a coffee? Can we be best friends? Are you on Facebook?
This post was originally published on Stay Home Mama.