SPM/MM Tweets

15 of the Funniest Tweets From Parents in May

It’s May! Are you kidding me!?

5 months.

That’s how long we’ve been putting up with 2020’s stank ass. Sadly, the year isn’t getting better, if anything, it’s getting worse. Just like those #bossbabe influencers, it seems that 2020 picked a word to focus on this year, and that word is “clusterfuck”. May brought us news of muder hornets, cicada invasions, and more senseless deaths due to racism and systematic abuses of power.

Some things change while others stay the same. Raising kids may come with new challenges in these unprecedented times, however they also come with the same old baggage that’s been latched onto childrearing since the beginning of time. Luckily, we can vent, have some laughs, and bask in the camaraderie of all the other parents that are also just fucking grasping at their last straw while also trying to plunge renegade Barbies out of the toilet.

Hashtag Blessed, Y’all

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15 of the Funniest Tweets From Parents in May

1. I’m not sharing but just for hygienic reasons. Stay safe.

2. I mean, in a pinch any elbow will do.

3. Why are you so obsessed with me?!

4. One of the fundamental laws of the Universe.

5. I’m really CRUSHING this teacher gig.

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6. It doesn’t matter what your situation is- you’re all screwed.

7. Just. Leave. Me. Alone.

8. OMG It’s a mystery….

9. Expert level child minding.

10. I know it’s not a competition, but SAME. I dare you to show me someone who even got to day 1.

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11. PRINCESS OF POWER! All must kneel before me.

12. Hating pants is an everyday mood.

13. Gosh it’s so great to have the village again.


15. Our hearts just grow bigger with each new addition.

Here’s to a Happy and Healthy June!

There’s no harm in hoping, amirite? Let’s all cross our fingers for sunny days, fewer Covid-19 cases, less racist trash, and making Summer memories.

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