Sometimes it feels like the only thing that could be worse than the sudden unexpected close to the school year last March is the complete and utter shitshow we’re walking into with the school’s reopening this fall.
Parents were hit particularly hard with the pandemic, however, nothing comes close to the agonizing choices that they’re faced with when it comes to sending them back. Ultimately all choices suck, and with the amount of judgement and shame going around, a shitty situation gets even shittier. At the end of the day, every family is doing their best given their own unique circumstances- nobody out there deserves anything other than a stiff drink and a hug.
Although we thought we’d be happy to see the schools re-open, it’s like a Pandora’s Box of anxious fuckery. A true damned if you do and damned if you don’t scenario. And it feels like everyone loses.
So whether you choose to send them back or not (or even a hybrid of the two) know this- you’re doing what’s best for your family in an impossible situation and we salute you. Same goes for all the educators and child care workers out there.
14 Tweets About Back To School 2020 to Make You LOLsob
1. Not a spaghetti strap in sight, great news for your local Karen!
Oh no it's already time for back-to-school shopping pic.twitter.com/YXJojZvO9Z
— Uncle Jeff (@PickleRudd) July 30, 2020
2. Meanwhile, parents are marking the occasion in their own way.
Back to school shopping at the liquor store.
— bubble girl (@JessObsess) August 4, 2020
3. Looks like the gang’s all here, amirite?
Took my kids back to school shopping and bought pjs, sweat pants, slippers, and wine. Fall 2020 here we come.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) July 18, 2020
4. Whether you choose to send your kids back or not will be an agonizing decision.
School: We are giving you the option of sending your kids back to school or continuing with distance learning and-
Me: [already with my kids at the bus stop]
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 31, 2020
5. And you definitely won’t be prepared.
No amount of Xanax can brace me for the upcoming announcement by the Department of Education about how back to school will work in September.
— Gila Pfeffer (@Gilapfeffer) July 2, 2020
6. And at the end of the day, let’s face it, there are ONLY wrong answers it seems.
Most people are agonizing between virtual education and in-person learning, but I’m confident in my decision about school in 2020.
Confident that the choices I make will probably be the wrong ones no matter what I pick.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) August 11, 2020
7. These are unprecedented times, remember?
People be like “You knew what you were signing up for when you had kids” as if we had any idea we’d have to homeschool them through a global pandemic
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) August 5, 2020
8. Which of course, means we will ALL need to improvise.
It really sucks that I have to find a new way to embarrass my children, since I won't have the "blast rap music in the school pickup line" option this year.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) August 10, 2020
9. The whole thing is a disturbing hot mess.
When the kids go back to school they will be required to clean and wipe down their desks after every class like has the school department ever met kids or
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) July 29, 2020
10. Terrifying, really.
*puts flashlight under chin*
*reads back-to-school plan*
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) August 4, 2020
11. Honestly, we’re all not Ok. Not one single one of us…
Remember to clean your living room and hide the booze bottles before taking back to school photos this year.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) August 12, 2020
12. Because things are fucked. MEGA fucked.
Times sure have changed when back to school shopping goes from trapper keepers and keds to bulletproof backpacks and hazmat suits
— Cats Against Humanity™ (@CatsVsHumanity) August 6, 2020
13. We’ve begun fantasizing about drop off.
I haven’t missed Betty & Shannon
The PTA snitches
Gossip about me
From sanctimom bitches
Chili & pie cook off’s
Lame talent shows
But staying at home with my kids
Once class reopens
Again in the fall
I’ll be the first one in line
Happy back to school y’all
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) July 31, 2020
14. But as far as confidence goes… I think it’s safe to say we have none.
Me looking at my kid’s school reopening plan pic.twitter.com/7SkeqN0CLk
— Bottlerocket (@bottlerocket) August 5, 2020
In short- Although it may be a relief, there is nothing “happy” about this back to school.
Let’s raise our glasses to the parents just trying to do their best and get through the gut-wrenching agony of it all. Though our circumstances are very different, we’re all living this shit together.