January is the time of year where we traditionally tend to revisit our wellness goals. This is when gyms are packed, diets are starting, and if you listen verrrrrry carefully you can hear the sound of a rumbling stomach out there lamenting to the tune of “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen. So majestic.
But despite the number of new diets that pop up every year, some of them have real staying power. A great example of this is the Keto diet. This diet has a cult-like following who chatter on endlessly about its ability to help with weight loss while allowing you to still eat pepperoni, bacon, and cheese. What the what?!
The keto diet achieves these results due to the fact that it’s a low-carb diet. This means no bread, sugar, and even fruit is on the shit list. Again… WHAT?!
However, despite the naysayers, this diet has gotten folks the kind of results that they won’t be shy telling you about in the break room every day for the next 3 months. As to whether it’s actually healthy or sustainable in the long-term? No comment.
Despite where you fall on the debate about keto, at the very least we can have a few laughs at a diet that allows you to stuff your face with pot roast, as long as you don’t have pineapples for desert.
What a time to be alive.
12 Hilarious Tweets About the Keto Diet
1. Honestly, this exact thought process must be the kind of evil that lies behind the invention of every diet.
[Guy that invented keto]*Eating* This should be sad.
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) November 2, 2019
2. Did somebody say oversized bread slices??
Ketosis sounds like an STD. Pass the Texas Toast.
— Stacey (@skittle624) January 12, 2021
3. Grapes: big nah, bacon grease: GOOD TO GO, BRO.
4. So controversial, yet so brave.
Let the kids believe in Santa. You believe in keto diets too.
— karanbir singh (@karanbirtinna) December 27, 2020
5. Hero or villain? You be the judge…
Functioning alcoholism is to 2020 what Keto was to 2019
— Bart (@bartandsoul) October 21, 2020
6. This is in stark contrast to my usual “cope with stress by devouring ALL THE THINGS” lifestyle.
Screw Keto, let's all just be too anxious to eat.
— Sonia Weiser (@weischoice) March 21, 2020
7. Wow, I just love approachable wellness!
If you’re doing the keto diet, you can save all your carbs for the end of the day then get completely wrecked on like four beers. You’re welcome, y’all
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) February 20, 2020
8. That’s 5 months of deep-throating bread you’ll never get back, SMH.
Imagine someone finishing five months of keto and then the world ends
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) January 22, 2020
9. Man, if that’s being alive then count me the fuck in!
Him: Keto has really helped me get my life on track.
Me: *eating Mac and cheese out of a bread bowl* I also am alive
— Fossilized Tree Resin (@Jamberee13) April 16, 2019
10. It’s very similar to vegan club and crossfit club…
The first rule of keto club is that tell absolutely everyone you are in it
— all the time mais (@maisondecris) April 3, 2019
11. TELL ME MORE.
I ate Oreos and nachos for dinner but, sure, I’d love to hear about your Keto diet
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) August 13, 2018
12. I guess it’s not for everyone *continues stuffing face*.
With exercise and diet over the course of 3 months, I managed to lose 5 pounds. Meanwhile, my husband googled the word keto once and lost 15.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) May 18, 2020
Good luck with your breadless diet!
Meanwhile you can find me under the bleachers with a trench coat full of baguettes if you change your mind.
Make sure and share this with a friend, because laughing is zero-calorie and completely carb-free!