If you grew up in the golden era of the Disney princess, you’re likely familiar with the wide-eyed, love-seeking naivete that fucked our childish brains into thinking all sorts of batshit toxic bullshit about love and life. Sure, Disney has gotten their female characters a little more locked-in as the years went on, leading us to cool independent Disney princesses that didn’t necessarily need a man, such as Moana and the gals in the Frozen films.
Yet despite the progress being made, the initial sting from those early princess stories cut deep, which means that the Disney films have a fairly large hurdle to get over when it comes to designing their doe-eyed signing beauties. Luckily, the fine people of Twitter have taken to giving suggestions of the relatable, hot mess-style princesses that we’re all dying to see light up our screens and make us feel better about our lives.
10 Funny Tweets About the Disney Princess We NEED
1. Just a little something for the gothic/horror fans amongst us.
we need a disney princess who is the shark from the movie Jaws
— thomas 🍌 (@perfectsweeties) October 5, 2020
2. Relevant? oh yes. Timely and a good example? You betcha!
We need a Disney princess who puts her mic on mute when she’s not speaking
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) April 3, 2020
3. Maybe one with a few kids to throw them at too.
We need a Disney Princess who makes grilled cheese sandwiches.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) February 9, 2021
4. I wanna see a twirling bitch with anxiety and an ability to see through toxic romanticism.
We need a Disney Princess who’s open about her mental health
— Adam (@adamgreattweet) February 7, 2021
5. Pixar tried it with dem ass gainz, but we need a little more gravity in the chest and midsection region.
We need a Disney princess with a mom bod.
— WineMummy (@WineMummy) January 10, 2021
6. Gimme a woman who is as rare and irresistible as the exclusive limited-time sandwich she’s scarfing.
What we need is a Disney Princess eating a McRib
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) December 9, 2020
7. Hello, we are once again DEMANDING representation!
we need a Disney princess that’s a depressed pansexual overweight pot smoking big titty bitch who just joined Twitter
— diamondstarpotato (@dmndstarpotato) January 6, 2021
8. This would be a solid watch, if you think otherwise your opinion doesn’t matter. Sorry.
We need a Disney princess who drives a monster truck named Girthquake down at the demo derby this SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
— Luke (@LloBrow) February 8, 2021
9. Ah yes, holding my breath for the cartoon Disney-fied version of Wisconsin. Simply magical.
We need a Disney princess who can out-drink Gaston.
She's probably from Wisconsin
— Ice Cream Kona (@KonaSlater) February 8, 2021
10. A Disney/action film crossover? Yes please. GET WITH THE TIMES DISNEY!!
We need a Disney princess who has a very particular set of skills, skills acquired over a very long career. Skills that make them a nightmare for people like you.
— An English Human (@English_Channel) February 8, 2021
We hope you’re paying attention Disney!
The next Disney princess better be coming out here with saggy-ass titties, a pisspoor attitude, and a week that’s full of lame errands and invasive physical exams. Maybe then you’ll catch us mid-song with the local wildlife twirling for our fucking lives. Until then, GTFOH with these adorable wee waifs.