Working Mom Quits Job, Life Somehow Still Hard AF

By Kristina Johnson

A local woman is confirming this week that the grass is, in fact, always greener on the other side. Kate Jones says despite giving up her career to stay at home with her baby, her life has not gotten any easier.

The problems began on Jones’s first day as a stay-at-home mom when her baby cried more in that one day than she had in her entire life up to that point.

“It was horrible. Just all day long, non-stop crying. In retrospect, I can’t believe my nanny put up with this for only $10 an hour. And the poopy diapers? My God, the poopy diapers!”

Jones says she was under the impression that leaving her job would drastically reduce the stress in her life and dramatically increase her energy level. She was shocked to find out she was wrong on both counts.

“I thought I was supposed to have all this time for Pinterest projects.” She also believed there would be time for the occasional Netflix binge.

“Somehow I’m more tired now than when I was working outside the home for 50 hours a week. How is that even possible? I’m wondering now if I was maybe falling asleep at my desk and not realizing it?”

Her co-workers confirmed that was, in fact, the case.

“I didn’t know people could actually sleep with their eyes open until Kate came back from maternity leave,” said Jones’s former manager, Bill Lewis.

“I didn’t love my job, but at least Bill never sneezed oatmeal into my face. Except for that one time, I guess.”

Jones hastened to add that she was happy to be home and knew she was lucky to have the opportunity.

“I love my daughter, and I’m so excited to have more time with her. I know I shouldn’t complain because so many women would kill for this chance. As my mother-in-law constantly reminds me.”

Staring wistfully at the brief case she once toted to work every day, however, she expressed some concerns about her SAHM suitability. “Am I doing something wrong?” she wondered aloud.

The consensus in her online mom’s group? A resounding yes.

“We’ve sent her all sorts of inspirational quotes about how your kids are only little once, but they just don’t seem to be getting through,” said Jaden’sMommy4Ever.

Jones noted that the next person to say, “The days are long, but the years are short,” to her would be punched in the throat.

According to CaliMomToThree, there’s one thing about stay-at-home mom life that Jones needs to realize.

“A lot of moms think being at home is isolating, and that’s just not true. I still make time to socialize. I just had lunch with my best friend last year, and we’re thinking we’ll be able to do it again in the next 6 to 9 months.”

Jones said while most of the group’s advice led her to believe the other moms had all developed Stockholm Syndrome from spending so much time with their children, she did pick up one invaluable tidbit.

“These women sure seem to love wine. I think I’m going to head to the liquor store once my husband gets home.”


About the Author

Kristina Johnson is a new mom, writer, and TV producer living in New York City. She loves her daughter deeply but can admit that she wouldn’t mind if babies came with an off-switch. Her interests include books, Netflix, and coming up with snarky responses to people who ask when she’s having baby #2. She blogs regularly at