Toddlers love to tell you what they want, what they really really want, don't they? Except they can't have what they want because it's like knives or something. Or else they speak in gibberish. It's really really fun.
Humor Parenting

What the Spice Girls Taught Me About Parenting Toddlers

Toddlers love to tell you what they want, what they really really want, don't they? Except they can't have what they want because it's like knives or something. Or else they speak in gibberish. It's really really fun.

By Becca Carnahan of With Love and a Little Self-Deprecation 

Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

Says the toddler without giving any indication of what it is that she really, really wants. But she really, REALLY wants it and that should be enough for you to understand how to meet her needs.

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

Says the parent. I hear you. You are pointing up at the counter with fervor and your toddler babble is VERY loud but everything I seem to be handing you is wrong. Goldfish Crackers? Juice? This toy car? My keys? My sanity? Please tell me what you want, what you really, really want. And maybe use an inside voice.

I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

Says the toddler. She doesn’t know how much more clear she could be. THAT is what she wants and she doesn’t only want it right now, she wanted it ten minutes ago and you should have read her mind to know that. Pull it together, you’re the adult. “Why don’t you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? I WANT THAT!”

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

Says the parent. I see that you’re upset. I have literally handed you everything that is on this counter besides the knife block and that’s going to be a hard no. Plus, when I pointed at it, you threw your head back and let out a rage-filled war cry, so I honestly don’t think that’s what it is. Please tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

Look, Mommy will start so you can mirror the behavior I am requesting from you #ProTip. I really, really want world peace, more companies to adopt family-friendly work policies, and a margarita. See how I used my words?

I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)

Says the toddler now hyperventilating from disappointment, frustration, and a little bit of shangry (sleepy, hungry, angry). The internal toddler monologue must be, “You are just the worst. Why are you ruining my life? I thought I was your sunshine, joy, and reason for existence. FOR THE LOVE OF ELMO, PROVE IT!!!!”

I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah

Says the toddler, finally. “I want a ZIGAZIG AH. SEE, NOW I AM BEING PERFECTLY CLEAR! Hand it over, please.”

Leaving the parent to say:

“But honey, that’s not a thing. It’s a made-up word. I don’t know how to give you a zigazig ah. So please…”

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.

See? That song finally make sense.

This post was originally published on With Love and a Little Self-Deprecation.

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About the Author

Becca Carnahan is a mom of 2 small humans, freelance writer, career coach, and a humor enthusiast. Find her sharing stories about parenting and career development at With Love, Becca and follow her on Facebook and Twitter