Figuring out how to help a new mother without inadvertently bugging her in the process is tough. Here are some ways you can do just that.
Parenting SPM/MM

10 Ways You Can ACTUALLY Help a New Mother

Figuring out how to help a new mother without inadvertently bugging her in the process is tough. Here are some ways you can do just that.

By Jennifer Weedon Palazzo of MomCave TV

Bring her entire family dinner. Preferably something that is also good as leftovers so she can use it for more than one meal. Drop it off outside her door and LEAVE. Don’t expect to visit with her. Just leave the food. If you really want to go above and beyond, organize a meal train among your group of friends so that the new mom is delivered meals every couple of days for a few weeks.

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Instead of just offering to babysit at some nebulous point in the future, BE SPECIFIC. She’s too embarrassed to ask, but would LOVE it if you offered to come by on Wednesday at 2 pm to hold the baby while she naps. Don’t allow her to use the time doing anything other than napping.

Continue to invite her to social outings, but make it clear that you totally understand if she’s not up to it or has to cancel at the last minute. And assure her that she is welcome to bring the baby. If she does, by some miracle of miracles, make it out of the house, hold the baby while she eats. She’ll be so relieved to have the use of two hands for a bit.

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Send gift certificates for grocery and food delivery. It’s difficult to get out of the house at first and such a pain to bundle the baby and gather its gear. No matter how she tries, her brain is too fried to keep up with the shopping list. Make it easy for her.

Offer to let her use your Netflix password or Amazon Prime account. Late night nursing can be lonely and is a great time to catch up on guilty-pleasure TV. And express shipping on diapers and wipes is priceless.

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Offer to facilitate her baby shower thank you cards (if she hasn’t sent them out yet) or baby announcements. Come by, bring a bottle of wine and help write out the envelopes. Again, it’s rare she has two hands free.

Buy her a really cute and sexy nursing bra. They exist but are difficult to find. It will make her feel a bit less bovine.

Offer to meet her at the mall and walk the baby around in the stroller while she blissfully shops alone for jeans that will fit her newly wider ass. Don’t underestimate the freedom she will feel walking alone in a mall for a couple of hours.

Remember she is more than a mom. Being a new mom consumes one’s whole focus and being. Even if this is a very wanted baby, she may be having conflicting feelings about being “just a mom” now. Engage her in conversations about the same things you did before baby’s arrival. But also understand if the new arrival is all she is able to talk about for now.

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But MOST importantly, remind her that whatever challenge motherhood is throwing at her now is only a passing phase. Colic? They grow out of it. Sleep deprivation? They eventually sleep through the night. This too shall pass. And soon she’ll be the “expert” mom helping out the “rookie.”


About Jennifer Weedon Palazzo

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo  is the creator/writer/and producer of, an online network of comedy shows for moms including Slummy Mummy, Slacker Mom, Double Leche, Blabbermom, and MomCave LIVE. When she’s not writing about the funny side of being a mom, Jennifer can be found eating Reese’s Cups while furiously bidding on vintage clothing on eBay. After 18 years as a Manhattan-ite, she now lives in the Berkshires with her husband, Evan, bandleader of The Hot Sardines and their two kids. Follow her on Twitter @MomCaveTV and visit