While some details vary from day today, this will give you a pretty good idea of what a typical day in my life looks like.
6:30am: Wake up to the sound of Levi making “I’m awake” sounds. Try to will him back to sleep.
6:35am: Hear Levi getting progressively louder and continue willing him to go back to sleep as well as willing Lillian to stay asleep.
6:38am: Levi’s not getting any quieter so I say a prayer that Santa will bring me Jedi Mind Tricks for Christmas this year and pull myself out of bed. I walk into the bedroom where now both kids are up and way too happy to see me. “Hi Mom!” Lily says as she rubs her tired eyes. Levi bounces up and down in his crib and gnaws on the crib bar–sharpening his teeth for my demise today.
6:45am: After the kids are changed and set loose, I stumble into the kitchen to turn on the coffee pot. The timer is set to begin brewing at 7:00am but I don’t remember the last time it was awake before the kids were. Get the kids milk and breakfast and have them sit on a blanket in front of an episode of Daniel Tiger we’ve seen 84 times. Begin drinking coffee.
7:00am: Levi has decided he’s consumed enough calories to begin playing. I try to convince him he is wrong as he starts making “roar!” sounds with his arms outstretched zombie style, trying to entice me into a game of chase. I kind of do as he pleases and wander around after him making weak “roar” noises while drinking coffee.
7:15am: Lily alerts me to the fact that the episode of Daniel Tiger is over and demands I begin another one. Kindly remind her she needs to ask and say please. “Pleeeeeeease Tiger.” I turn on another episode and begin wondering what on Earth I’m going to do today.
7:30am: Levi’s decided he needs a few more calories so he sits on the blanket next to his sister while I pull out my phone and speed read emails, Facebook, and Twitter in a futile attempt to remind myself that other adults do exist.
7:50am: Kids begin playing by themselves / with each other so I start laundry and emptying the dishwasher which only draws their attention. Lily must put every single article of clothing in the washing machine. Levi must bang wildly on the washer. They fight over who gets to close the laundry area doors and turn off the light. We do a similar routine with the dishwasher and they fight over who gets to close it.
8:15am: Finally finish unloading the dishwasher and starting laundry.
8:20: Levi starts rubbing his eyes, alerting me to the fact he is ready for his morning nap. Get his cup of milk and go into their room to lay him down.
8:23am: Tell Lily to close the bedroom door for the 17th time and let her brother sleep. “Lily, you’ve said ‘night night brother’ enough. Let’s go.”
8:30am: Convince Lillian that Levi is going night night even though he’s making noise. He is not awake. Well, he is, but he shouldn’t be.
8:40am: Levi is finally quiet and sleeping.
8:47am: Levi is awake because he pooped. Change him and lay him back down.
8:50am: Put on an episode of Curious George so Lily stops asking if we can go get brother.
9:00am: Go to put laundry in the dryer. I let Lily help again by putting everything in the dryer, close the door, and Heaven forbid I don’t let her press the “Start” button. Ask her if she wants to color. “Nope.” “Play with blocks?” “Nope.” “Play in your kitchen?” “Nope.” “…Color?” “Yes!”
9:15am: Lillian’s done coloring and proceeds to put all the crayons in the bag, take them out, put them back, etc.
9:20am: Still doing the crayon shuffle.
9:25am: Lils asks me to start drawing faces.
9:35am: I’m still drawing faces.
9:45am: Levi’s awake and we run in to get him.
10:00am: Pack the kids to go to the store which we do pretty much every day. It gets us out of the house and the kids are strapped in which makes it more difficult for them to rile me up.
11:00am: Get home from the store. start unpacking groceries while the kids climb in and out and on top of the stroller. Tell Lily not to push the stroller while Levi is hanging on the side. Tell Levi not to hang on the side.
11:15am: Give the kids a snack on the blanket in front of Curious George.
11:20am: Yell at the kids to stop stealing each others snack. Make more coffee.
11:35am: Tell Lillian it’s time for night night. Begin long discussion about how we don’t throw tantrums, we listen to Mommy, we need our sleep, when she gets up she can wake up Daddy.
11:40am: Lay Lily down in her crib and begin itemizing everything in there. Baby 1, baby 2, baby 3, Glo-Worm, blanket, book 1, book 2, cup of milk, pacifier, dog. Close the door as she yells a sad, “Love you, Mom.”
11:45am: Stare at Levi and wonder what I’m supposed to do with him.
11:47am: Staring.
11:50am: “Levi… you wanna color?” Get him set up at the table with some crayons and paper.
11:53am: Get Levi out of his chair and clean up 12 partially chewed crayons. Check label to make sure they’re non-toxic. Convince him to play with cars instead. Big cars. Cars he can’t fit in his mouth.
11:55am: Start folding laundry.
11:57am: Remove Levi from laundry basket.
12:01pm: Remove Levi from laundry basket.
12:10pm: Give up folding laundry and start building block towers while Levi knocks down my progress every time I stack more than 3 blocks.
12:15pm: Wonder what the kids should eat for lunch. Go to kitchen and decide that a Nutrigrain bar counts as a carb and fruit. Decide that the bar, and a piece of cheese for protein, counts as a balanced meal. Pat myself on the back.
12:30pm: Wonder what we should have for dinner. Open the Tupperware cupboard for Levi to destroy while I repeatedly open and close the pantry and the fridge in search of inspiration. Throw a couple chicken breasts in the crock pot, cover with a jar of spaghetti sauce, and turn on high. Pat myself on the back.
12:40pm: Sit down with Levi and begin playing Pat-a-cake.
12:45pm: More Pat-a-cake.
12:50pm: We’ve now switched to Itsy Bitsy Spider.
12:53pm: Decide it’s close enough to 1 and ask Levi if he wants to go wake up Daddy. (Luke works nights so he normally gets up around 1 and leaves for work around 6:30.)
12:57pm: Listen to Levi excitedly yell at Luke in order to wake him up and sit on the couch checking Facebook, Twitter, and email to remind myself there are other adults in the world.
1:10pm: Greet my husband with “You gonna take the kids to the park today?”
1:20pm: Go get Lils who has somehow figured out that Dad is awake. Change her diaper, let her loose and hear her say, “Dad! Dad! Dad! You’re awake! Egg?’ Lillian helps Luke make himself breakfast.
[/nextpage] [nextpage title=”Page 2″ ]1:35pm: Clean up the kitchen and feed the kids lunch while, yes, they watch Curious George and Luke and I plan the rest of the day.
2:00pm: Slyly give Levi a pair of Luke’s shoes and ask him to go take them to Dad as a not so subtle hint for him to take the kids to the park.
2:20pm: Kids are dressed, wearing shoes, have their milk and a snack, and I shove them all out the door. Lock the door and sit.
2:25pm: Still sitting.
2:35pm: Sitting.
2:40pm: Reach for the laundry basket but somehow end up laying down.
2:47pm: Wake up.
2:50pm-4pm: Fold laundry. Put away laundry. Load dishwasher. Clean both bathrooms. Take out trash. Eat. Begin watching an episode of Top Chef. Open door when I hear Lillian knocking on the other side. “Mom? We’re back!”
4-5:00pm: Family time. We chase each other around, throw the ball, play with the toy kitchen, and have many a discussion about how we don’t push or hit or yell at our siblings. We say please and thank you. We don’t throw balls at people–we throw balls to other people. Same goes for blocks… I think…
5:00pm: Dinner time. Chicken spaghetti. Watch with amazement how the spaghetti sauce somehow doubles in size as it is spread and smeared across my children’s bodies, my kitchen table, and walls.
5:30pm: Ask Luke to give the kids a bath while I clean up dinner and clean spaghetti sauce off of… everything.
6:00pm: Fall over sideways laughing at Levi as he runs out of the bathroom, stark naked, and begins doing squats while yelling happily.
6:15pm: Wrangle kids into diapers and jammies. Clean up pee that happened as a consequence of post-bath naked squats.
6:30pm: Say goodbye to Luke as he heads off to work and curl up on the couch to cuddle with the kids while we watch one last episode of Daniel Tiger for the day.
6:45pm: Attempt to get Levi to cuddle longer with me.
6:46pm: Why won’t you cuddle with me?
6:47pm: Cuddle!
6:48pm: Fine, don’t cuddle. Let’s play with blocks.
6:53pm: Explain to Lillian that we’re done watching TV but we can all play quietly together or we can go night night. Notice that both kids are rubbing their eyes and say a silent hallelujah that bedtime is near.
6:55pm: Remind Lillian that we don’t hit Mommy when she says no and that it’s time for night night.
7:00pm: Lay kids in bed with their sippy cups. turn on Pillow Pet for Levi. Turn on Glo-Worm for Lily. Kiss, pray, turn out lights and close door as I hear Lils say, “Night Mom.”
7:01pm: Do a happy dance. Sit.
7:05pm: Still sitting. Think about getting up.
7:10pm: Go into the kids’ room and remind them it’s time for night night and ask Lily to stop throwing toys on Levi’s head while he tries to sleep.
7:15pm: Clean dishes one last time and load dishwasher after discovering multiple sippy cups and plastic silverware in mysterious places.
7:25pm: Go back into kids’ room and remind them both it’s time for night night.
7:35pm: Kids are asleep. I eat dinner and finish my episode of Top Chef.
8:30-11:00pm: Listen to a podcast I blog for, write that blog post, work on my web site, write, write some more, clean up toys, vacuum, check Facebook, Twitter, and reply to emails.
11:05pm: Go to bed and try to figure out what I did all day.
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