By Kimberly Yavorski of www.kimberlyyavorski.com
As a mom, it is tough to go it alone. Our little darlings didn’t come with instructions, and much of what we thought we knew has turned out to be faulty or just plain wrong. We have our own moms to go to, but with life changing so much and at such a rapid pace, sometimes Mom can’t help you. Other times, we simply don’t want to go there and admit we need help. These are the times our mom friends can help. If you don’t yet have a group of mom friends, here are the ones you should be looking for.
The Medical Professional
A pediatrician is ideal, but any doctor will work. A PT or OT is also acceptable. Even a medical receptionist will do. Hell, anyone who works anywhere in the medical field can work in a pinch. We all have those moments where either due to extreme emotion or lack of sleep, we are completely paranoid about a spot, a sniffle, a limb being held at what looks like a weird angle, a temperature above 99. Rather than running to the ER several times a week, it is helpful to have someone you can call to see if Junior really needs to see a specialist in infectious diseases or simply has indigestion from the beets he tried for the first time.
The Calm in the Storm
This is the mom who has older kids — one who is in a parenting stage ahead of you and can give you a glimpse of what is to come as well as a reality check for the here and now (this stage will not last forever). (Side note: She can also be contacted if the medical professional is not available.) She is your calm in a storm. This mom can convince you that you are doing okay, that your child is going to grow up despite how things look today.
I have a wonderful mom friend whose kids are older than mine. She had a way of calming me whenever I was overwhelmed and felt like a failure, particularly in my lack of ability to keep my living room from looking like a toy store truck had overturned in it. I have never been able to remember the exact words, but she would frequently recite a poem about keeping cobwebs and spending time with your children instead — that the time you give them is infinitely more important than picking up after them. This perspective helped me tremendously.
The Social Secretary
There is always one mom who seems to have it all together, who always knows what time the baseball game is, what date the school concert is and where the kids need to be and at what time. Make sure you have her number. When you can’t find the slip of paper you wrote the information on or the game schedule has slipped under or behind the refrigerator you stuck it to, she will be able to help you out. Bonus points if you get to be good enough friends that she realizes you need extra help and calls to remind you.
The Messy Mom
This may be you. If so, congratulations! We all struggle to keep up with the messes. It seems that the smaller the being, the more stuff there is. Toys for the littlest kids seem to take up the most room, and no toddler understands the concept of putting one thing away before moving on to the next. As a result, homes with toddlers often look like a tornado went through. If you are one of those people who needs to have an orderly space and have boundless energy, your house may be spotless at all times, but you are making the rest of us feel inadequate. There is something about walking into child-induced chaos that is oddly comforting. There’s not much that creates more stress than feeling like you are the only one who finds trucks in the couch cushions and crayons in your purse.
The Crafty Mom
This is the mom who runs the craft table at child-oriented events. She is the one who plans craft activities for birthday parties and has the neighborhood kids creating “masterpieces” in her yard during the summer months. She may also plan these events for grown-ups. Even if everything you do is a “Pinterest fail,” you know you can go to her when there is a school assignment and all you can find is empty toilet paper tubes and crayons. She likely has extra construction paper, feathers and glitter lying around, and she can tell you where to go to buy air hardening clay and Mod Podge as well as the best methods to use them.
We don’t expect anyone else to be everything for us, so why should we put the expectation on ourselves to be everything for our children? Spread the wealth: All those other moms are looking for something you have as well.
About the Author
Kimberly Yavorski is a mom of four who writes frequently about life and family, while working on a novel. When not writing, she enjoys spending time outdoors with her family and dog. Her blogs and links to her work on other websites can be found at www.kimberlyyavorski.com. She is also on Facebook and Twitter.