Humor Parenting

Stupid Kids’ Toys: Blind Bag or Prize Egg

Stupid Kids' Toys: Blind Bag or Prize Egg

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We all know about stupid kids’ toys. They’re those crappy things you get in Happy Meals or, worse, trinkets that well-meaning relatives and receptionists at the dentist’s office hand out, thinking they’re doing us a favor or something.


Inevitably, these stupid kids’ toys wind up stabbing us in the feet at midnight as we’re sneaking to the fridge to eat the rest of the leftover cheesecake before our husbands get to it or littering the floors of our minivans until finally, we throw caution to the wind and dispose of them, temper tantrums be damned.

Well, guest writer Gizelle has another sort of stupid kids’ toy to warn you about. And trust me, you’re going to want to read closely. 

You don’t want this to be your life.


By Gizelle Arriola

ATTENTION ALL PARENTS. Stupid kids’ toy alert: blind bag or prize egg.

Never heard of a blind bag or prize egg? Well, let me fill you in.

A blind bag is a semi-expensive and even less useful small toy, such as My Little Pony or Littlest Pet Shop, that comes in a “mystery” bag. Yes, that’s right. It’s a mystery.

It does, however, come with lots of pictures on the outside, so that way your child gets really excited and can pick out the one she wants and then gets equally upset when she gets Snail Squirm My Little Pony instead of Rainbow Dash. Then comes the meltdown — on both your part and the part of the small little person who is now kicking and screaming for the purple little pony with the rainbow on her butt.

And you haven’t even left the parking lot yet.

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Here’s the real kicker: They have thousands of videos on YouTube devoted entirely to the opening of said bags as well as prize eggs, which are pretty much the same thing, only they come in a plastic egg and sometimes have chocolate or Play Doh as well as a toy. Oh, and they cost more. Don’t forget about that.

Now, my daughter is only four, and she already has a good size collection of these characters, which she likes to put in a Ziploc baggie and take everywhere we go. Sounds cute, right?

It is. That is until you go to try a pair of shoes on her at the local Target and she gets up and leaves a small fortune behind. Can you guess what happens next? World War III. That’s what happens next.

My only advice is this: If your child asks if they can have a prize egg or blind bag for the first time (if you already gave in there is no hope for you) next time you go to the store, back away slowly and run for the nearest exit.

I’m not even kidding.


About Gizelle Arriola

Gizelle Arriola is a mother of a wonderfully chaotic blended family with two wildly funny and equally crazy little girls who always keep her on her toes and her extremely talented stepson who is on a scholarship for music at S.F.S.U. She enjoys reading, poker and long walks on the beach as well as blogging about her life and the joys of motherhood (not necessarily in that order), and whenever possible, she takes her handsome and at-times impossible husband along for the ride. Look for her on her Facebook page, Dearest Mommy and on her blog