Racist Conspiracy Theories and Other Side Effects of Ambien

By MockMom Contributors

According to Roseanne Barr, her recent racist Twitter tirade was merely a side effect of the sleep aid Ambien. Here are some of the other, lesser-known side effects this drug has been found to cause:

Texting your ex.

Pulling up naked to a drive-thru, without a car.

Accidental surrogacy.

Watching Roseanne.

Participating in protests that involve swastikas and/or tiki torches.

Being in a Hitler-themed photo shoot.

Sewing an entire miniature Nazi suit for your cat.

Getting dissed by Pusha.

Being a little too nice to people from Belarus, Poland, Germany, Canada, and Switzerland.

Starting a podcast about men’s rights.

Use of the term “meninism.”

Saying things like, “The only racism in 2018 is anti-white racism.”

Believing that white, heterosexual, Christian men are the most oppressed minority in America.

Drowsiness from too much winning.


Accidentally having sex with porn stars that you’ll have to pay off with hush money later.

Designing your own coin.

Vanishing wife syndrome.

Believing Kim Kardashian is actually an expert on prison reform.

Anything ever done by Kanye West.

Invading a pizza parlor looking for a sex slavery ring.

Voting for Ted Cruz. Again.



Special thanks to the following contributors:

Kelly Arnell, Melissa Coble, Sarah Curry, Mandi Em, Anna Gracia, Jennifer Rosen Heinz, Andrew Knott, Kristine Laco, Joanna McClanahan, and Jorrie Varney