By Charlie of Ruckus Girl blog
HANCOCK, IL — Gearing up for the 2016 season, the “Pumas” Travel Softball Team held open tryouts to find hot moms.
A sweaty Saturday night at Bob’s Blue Balls Bar & Grill set the mood for tryouts. The Pumas, formally known as the Cougars, held open tryouts to find young, sexually attractive mothers for the 2016 season.
“The hot moms serve as cooks and eye candy for the team,” said Dick Wad, Pumas Head Coach. “They’re responsible for preparing and serving all our meals, stocking our beer coolers, and most importantly, stroking our egos.”
Yummy mummy, Amber Peaks, age 29, sporting a two-sizes-too-small white T-shirt sans brassiere, showed all of her team spirit at tryouts.
“Like, I just thought this was my chance for my baby girl to make more friends. I have a passion for cooking food, I can almost sense when someone needs a new beer, and I’m real flexible,” Peaks said, falling into a split.
Competition, much like the crotchal region of the coaching staff’s britches, was stiff.
“I’m a huge Pumas fan as you can see,” 35-year-old MILF Amanda Hunter said, sticking out her unnaturally large chest to display the Pumas logo on her shirt.
Pumas coaches ogled long and hard for tight and toned figures and gave extra attention to mothers who were skilled in cookery.
“While most softball programs focus on teaching fundamentals and team work and others on winning trophies,” said assistant coach Harry Peterson, “our primary focus is on hot mamas who can cook.”
Coaches say about six yummy mummy’s or MILF’s daughters will make the cut. Players and dads were not permitted to attend tryouts.
The Pumas are a marginally competitive program with no state championships. The team’s biggest fundraiser is their yearly “Hot Moms” calendar. Order yours today! After all, it’s for the kids!
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About the Author
Charlie is the boss at Ruckus Girl blog. Content there is like trail mix; a salty sweet mixture that’s sure to be at least a little nutty. Trail mix: the perfect snack unless you have a nut allergy. That shit is serious. Her work has appeared on Scary Mommy, Sammiches and Psych Meds, and Mamalode. Find her on Twitter and Facebook.