News/Trending Parenting Sex and Relationships SPM/MM

Proposed Equal Parenting Time Law in Custody Cases May Do More Harm Than Good

Lawmakers in Illinois are sitting on a bill that will change lives forever, and I don’t mean that in a good way.

House Bill 185 promises to make ‘equal parenting time’ standard in child custody cases, which means that even the worst parents—those who could care less if their children are happy, healthy and wise—will get to exploit, abuse and ignore their kids 50 percent of the time.

Though the new bill may seem like a fair and balanced option to a sane person who genuinely wants what’s best for their child, it’s important to remember that not every ‘parent’ is a good one. Some are wickedly evil master manipulators who will stop at nothing to get revenge.

Still, narcissists are parents, too, and according to lawmakers in Illinois, “recognizing that the involvement of each parent for equal time is presumptively in the children’s best interests.”

But supposing your ex is emotionally, sexually or verbally abusing your child. How do you prove in a court of law that your child is being abused if the bruises are internal?

Oh sure, you can carry around a binder—tabbed and highlighted with notes running off the pages—but between your legal counsel and your child’s court-appointed guardian ad litem (GAL), your so-called proof will never make it past the bench.

Why? Because our legal system is overwhelmed, understaffed and broken; so broken, that a judge would rather rule in favor of ‘fairness’ than take the time to sort through the mess that is your life.

In the words of my legal counsel, “This is your circus, he is your monkey. You need to get your child into therapy so she can learn how to set boundaries with her father.”

Lucky for me (not her), my ‘monkey’ was dumb enough to record the evidence used against him in court, but the majority of abusive parents never get caught. Instead, they continue to manipulate, harass and threaten their ex-spouses and children—via text, email and in person—at every possible turn.

Even worse are those with deep pockets who intentionally break court orders and file unfounded motions while their kids are being shuffled back and forth, from one parenting style to another, in an inconsistent clusterfuck of judicial bullshit.

Listen up, Illinois lawmakers (and any other state considering this ridiculous bill): There are men and women out there who SHOULD NOT BE PARENTS!

Instead of making ‘equal parenting time’ standard in child custody cases (so abusive and neglectful parents can keep on screwing up their kids’ lives), why not enforce a policy that requires families to meet with a board certified psychologist before, during and after a divorce?

If you truly want to know what is in the best interest of a child, find someone qualified to answer that question. It’s just good advice.