By Jocelyn Jane Cox of The Home Tome
Narson, NY– In order to celebrate poop, pee, and the joys of putting them in the potty, one New York couple has decided to host a Potty Party next weekend. Their toddler, Angus, will be the guest of honor.
“This is a big deal! If we don’t celebrate this momentous transition, who will?” Jessica Scanto told us. Her husband, Ronan, added with a chuckle, “This potty party is not to be confused with a pity party, but we might have one of those as well if this doesn’t go as planned.” His wife elbowed him self-consciously in response.
Written invitations went in the mail last week featuring Jessica’s best attempts at formal calligraphy. She used a new pen, purchased for the occasion. They were kind enough to share a copy with us:
YOU ARE INVITED TO A POTTY PARTY!
WHEN: Next Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. We are doing a three-day sit in. Won’t you please join us?
WHERE: Our bathroom, located in our hallway, third door on the right. (Note: If we don’t answer the front door when you ring the bell, just come on in. We’re probably just in the process of wiping.)
COME HUNGRY: Chocolate ice cream and lemonade will be served. You know how we love our party themes! (Note: Do not eat the soggy Cheerios located in the toilet bowl. These are for target practice only.)
FAVORS: There will be stickers, a chart, and a prize at the end of every row! (Note: Prizes will be given as rewards only.)
ACTIVITIES: A toilet-shaped piñata will be filled with Hershey’s Kisses and Tootsie Rolls. We will be enthusiastically reading a whole stack of books about toilets and also watching Daniel Tiger’s classic potty training episode on a continuous loop: “…just flush and wash and be on your way!”
FYI: There will be no actual clowns in attendance, but there might be two super silly parents wearing galoshes, raincoats, and full faces of Happy Clown make-up. (Note: This is to contribute to an atmosphere of FUN – not to mask the terror underneath.)
DRESS CODE: Undies! Underwear! Underpants! Briefs! Panties! (Or whatever you want to call them.) This is in addition to other clothes, as well, because we believe in personal dignity here. (Note: If you do wear diapers, please keep this on the down low as the goal is to never utter that word in our home again.)
NO GIFTS: But if you want to bring your own hand soap or toilet paper, we will be running through those at a rapid rate.
Hope you can make it!
As of this posting, none of the 150 invitees has accepted their invitation. In fact, none has even responded yet. But Jessica Scanto remains hopeful. “We are so excited for our Angus to show everybody what a big boy he can be. I know his little friends are going to LOVE all the balloons I’ve ordered. We’re going to fill them with warm water.”
Her husband added with a shrug, “Obviously, this shindig is not for people who are squeamish about bodily emissions of a solid, liquid, or even gaseous nature.”
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About the Author
Jocelyn Jane Cox is the mother of a toddler, a figure skating coach, and a nap-time writer with a weird penchant for decorative mushrooms. She is the author of The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness and blogs about the adventures of parenting and home-ownership at The Home Tome. She can also be found on Twitter and Facebook.