What do peeing for however long you want, taking thirty minute showers, and not having to share bacon have in common?

They’re all pipe dreams when you’re a parent.

If you’ve ever dreamed of spending a single night to yourself without anybody hitting, spitting, or shitting, then this hilarious jam from The Pump and Dump Show is for you.

Enjoy, moms everywhere! And may you one day get to drink the guilt away in peace.