Mom’s Greatest Dream: A Hotel Room by Myself

What do peeing for however long you want, taking thirty minute showers, and not having to share bacon have in common?

They’re all pipe dreams when you’re a parent.

If you’ve ever dreamed of spending a single night to yourself without anybody hitting, spitting, or shitting, then this hilarious jam from The Pump and Dump Show is for you.

Enjoy, moms everywhere! And may you one day get to drink the guilt away in peace.

• About the Author

About Lola Lolita

Wife, mother, educator, and chronic sufferer from anxiety, immaturity, and children. Like what you see? Check out my book, Who Pooped on the Corpses? And Other Pressing Life Concerns, subscribe to weekly emails, and follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Feeling generous? You can also help support our creative juices by donating to our tip jar.