By Marlene Kern Fischer of Thoughts From Aisle Four
At her son’s soccer game earlier today, a local mom was struck by the realization that she still didn’t completely understand the offside rule in soccer.
The mother of three sons, who did not want to be identified so as not to embarrass her family, said that although the rule had been explained to her countless times, she didn’t fully get it.
When asked what she thought the offside rule is in soccer, the mom said that she believed it had to do with “someone being in front of someone on one of the teams when they shouldn’t be because the ball is someplace else.” Although her answer was correct in a sort of roundabout way, it in no way really explained anything.
The mother said she began attending her sons’ soccer games nearly 25 years ago when her oldest began playing the sport when he was in nursery school. Since then, all three of her boys played soccer on various teams, including in high school, college, law school, and even in an adult league on weekends.
In addition, the woman said her husband and sons are all certified referees and watch soccer on the weekends, with each of them supporting different teams (Go Arsenal, Manchester United, and Everton!). She acknowledged that she should have “learned more about the game after being exposed to it so much” and couldn’t comprehend why she found it so difficult to understand the offside rule.
She thought that it might have something to do with the fact that she tended to “zone out” every time she saw people “running up and down the field.” She admitted that during the games she found herself thinking about a lot of other things, and often chatted with other parents.
On a positive note, the woman said she now had the ability to open one of those collapsible chairs with the cup holders in the arms in under five seconds and get it back in the bag in ten, as well as cut orange slices like a fruit ninja.
With her youngest son entering his senior year of high school, the mom vowed that by the time he graduated, she would not only understand the offside rule, but would also be able to teach it to other confused moms.
We will check back with her in a year and keep you posted.
A version of this post was first published on Thoughts From Aisle Four
*****
About the Author
Marlene Kern Fischer is a wife, mother of three sons, food shopper extraordinaire, lifelong writer, blogger and college essay editor. She graduated cum laude from Brandeis University with a degree in literature. Her work has been featured on CollegiateParent, Kveller, Grown and Flown, the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop, Her View From Home, Beyond Your Blog, and Better After 50. You can read more of her work on her blog: Thoughts From Aisle Four and follow her on Facebook.