How many of you have seen the hilarious video of Amy Schumer on the Ellen Degeneres show? If not, you must watch. Because she is now my new favorite. MY NEW FAVORITE.

I posted this video to my personal Facebook page the other night, and the next morning while at work, I received the following text message from Mr. Sammich:

I watched that Ellen post with Amy Schumer and then FB suggested I watch “Milk Milk Lemonade.” Holy balls, you have to watch it. It’s ridiculous and hilarious. But be sure to turn Wi-Fi off and watch it on your phone. It’s definitely not something you want to be FOIA-ed for at work.

It killed me, but I managed to wait until I got home to watch it, and HOLYFUCKINGWHATTHEHELL? I nearly blew a perfectly good glass of $4 wine directly out my nostrils.

I am equal parts horrified and humored. And she makes an excellent point: This is what you think is hot, guys?

(Note: This may not be safe for work. It’s not really that bad, but proceed at your own risk if there.)

I don’t understand men.