By Bethany Fitzpatrick

A married woman recently spent an entire party bragging about her sex life, as if she is completely unaware how disgusting it is to discuss marital sex.

Her friend stared at her with a mixture of horror and revulsion, but she obliviously continued to talk on and on about how hot sex is with her husband, using words like “virility” and “climactic.”

The friend said later with repulsion, “I mean, it’s not like she was talking about a hot guy she’s dating casually. She was talking about her husband. They have kids. They’ve been married for 17 or 18 years, I think. I mean, eww.”

The married mom continued her emphatic tirade, occasionally even using hand gestures for emphasis. Party goers seemed uncomfortable and tried to keep their distance, avoiding the married woman, unsure why she would think it even mildly exciting or acceptable to discuss such a topic.

The woman’s friend also said, “I mean, it’s fine to talk about problems in the bedroom sometimes, I guess, but no one wants to hear about hot sex with a spouse. It’s just gross.”

Some women did find themselves looking at the married woman’s spouse with new interest, though, and a few husbands were seen lurking within earshot of the woman’s misguided monologue.

*****

About the Author

Bethany Fitzpatrick is a full time mom, and a part time teacher and writer. When she is not bragging about her married sex life at parties, she loves reading, dancing, singing off key, digging in the dirt, and blowing bubbles with her kids at sunset. She has published essays online with Mothers Always Write, Mamalode, and Sammiches and Psych Meds. She is also the author of a self-published chapbook of poems, Becoming: A Journey to Motherhood (Lulu press, 2014). She can be found on Facebook.