The Hanacure face mask is all the rage right now. Celebrities — such as Drew Barrymore and … well … I know of Drew Barrymore for sure, but I’m 99.9 percent sure there are others given how viral this product has gone — can’t stop raving about how life-changing this Korean face mask is.
So naturally, I was like, “Yeah, right.”
See, I’ve tried just about every face mask on the market (Kidding. I think I’ve tried probably 2? But I have tried all kinds of facial products, from toners to topical lotions.), and they don’t do shit except make my face feel tingly for a few minutes. So forgive me for not buying into the hype.
Part of the reason I’m skeptical when it comes to “miracle” facial treatments is the fact that I have what the peeps in the biz call “problem skin.” I have oily skin, acne, dry patches, wrinkles, and enlarged pores all in one. So I have bullshit skin. Bullshit, I tell you. And ever since I stopped taking birth control following my tubal ligation, the skin difficulties of adolescence have returned, joined the skin difficulties of middle age, and conspired to make my life miserable. And there are very few products out there that even make a dent in the shitshow I’ve got going on.
But, as I often am, I was intrigued by all the talk surrounding Hanacure. So I ordered it. Because I’m a child who can’t be left alone with the internet and a credit card unsupervised.
The Hanacure website describes the face mask as such:
We bring you The Hanacure All-In-One Facial, the only product to deliver a transformative experience in 30 minutes. After thorough tests and research, patented CO2 OctoLift™ tightens, brightens, contours, and diminishes the appearance of wrinkles, giving you a restored and youthful appearance. With dedicated use, your skin will continually improve, relegating age to truly becoming nothing but a number.
Want to know if lives up to its reputation? Of course you do. Here’s the rundown.
As I mentioned, I have bullshit skin. Oily in some places, dry in others. Acne and wrinkles. Basically a living nightmare. Also, I haven’t exactly been kind to it. I’ve got sun damage (I once had a UV/black light thingy done on my face at the dermatologist’s office, and I’m not sure there is a single square inch that’s not covered in sun spots), I’ve used a lot of harsh anti-bacterial and drying agents for my acne, I don’t always remember to wear sunscreen, I don’t always wash my face at night, I used to smoke, I drink regularly, I partied through my 20s so hard I don’t even remember parts of that decade, and my diet is one step above that of the Hamburglar.
Basically? I’m not exactly starting out with celebrity-level skin here, so this thing had to essentially be magical.
Because I’m a Go Big or Go Home kind of gal, I skipped over the $29, one-time application starter and went straight for the $110, 4-time application set. The thing arrived about a week after I ordered it and came in a sturdy box with protective foam (that’s how you know it’s classy), and it was all there and intact. This is what it looked like (minus the protective foam).
I followed the instructions that came in a fancy-looking brochure inside the set because after what I heard about its application, I wasn’t about to go after this thing like a maverick. Basically, what you have to do is peel open a corner of one of the square-looking packages, pour one of the glass vials in there, recover the corner with the foil, and shake like a jackrabbit pounding its own wood until the thing is thoroughly mixed up.
Hot tip: Don’t peel the foil back from the corner too far, and make sure it’s thoroughly recovered before shaking. I lost about 1/4 of the product on the ground during the shaking process because I’m an idiot. Don’t be an idiot like me.
Once it’s all ready, peel the foil completely off, grab the application brush, and start painting the bukakki-like product all over your face (as well as your neck and the backs of your hands, if you want). Make inappropriate jokes to your spouse about how it feels like you paid a hundred bucks to Da Vinci some semen on your ug mug. Or don’t. That part’s optional.
The instructions say you can put a little bit on your undereye area. I did because I’ve got crow’s feet for days, but I’d caution users to take it easy (more on why later). I also did a little bit of my neck, but I skipped the hands. Surprisingly, there is a ton of product for how small the container seems. I even had a little left over (and after spilling a bunch of it prior to applying, too).
The Waiting Period
Once you’ve got yourself all globbed up, plop down in front of your favorite 30-minute Netflix show and wait for the thing to start to harden and dry.
CAUTION: THIS IS WHERE SHIT GETS INTENSE.
I had heard that it feels like papier mache, but that description doesn’t even come close. It feels as if you’ve gone bobbing for eternal youth in Qwikrete and it started to dry before you could wipe that hell on earth off your face. I couldn’t sip my wine, I couldn’t talk, my eyes felt like they were migrating toward my toes (this is why you want to go easy on the undereye area). I couldn’t do anything except will the time to pass as quickly as possible, all the while thinking, “OK, it definitely can’t get harder than this” right before it definitely got harder than that (that’s what she said). All I can say is find your happy place and go to it.
11 million years 30 minutes was up, I did my best Jack Nicholson from The Shining and gave the biggest, widest, most psychotic grin I could muster to crack that dried devil splooge and relieve the discomfort before heading to the bathroom to wash it off with warm water and mild soap.
This was the first time I’d looked in a mirror since applying the mask, and I swear to God, if my tear ducts hadn’t felt as though they were permanently glued shut, I would have burst into a toddler-grade meltdown at the sight of myself.
After I’d gotten ahold of my senses and reckoned with Jesus, I used a washcloth and warm water to wipe away the product and then I applied the vitamin serum that I use in the mornings when I can remember to get my shit together.
Hot tip 2: It came off easily enough with the washcloth and warm water, but I did wake up the next morning with a little bit still caked to the side of my face, so I’d recommend coming back a few minutes after the first wash to give it another once over and rinse-a-roo.
When I came downstairs to show my husband my new and improved face, he was like, “OH MY GOD! YOU LOOK 10 YEARS YOUNGER! JUST LIKE YOU DID ON OUR WEDDING DAY, EVEN!”
Just kidding. He didn’t say anything. And I was, admittedly, a little disappointed at first. I mean, it’s not like I thought the product would make me 16 again, but really, it didn’t seem to have done any better job than other facial treatments I have tried in the past. I decided to sleep on it and reassess in the morning.
When I woke up, I took a looksie, and honestly, I don’t feel like I looked dramatically better. But I definitely didn’t look worse. What I did notice, however, was that my face was quite soft and smooth, and all those impurities that I typically have to use Biore strips to remove were gone. Bonus: It’s been almost two weeks, and I still haven’t had to use a Biore strip (I usually use them once per week), so that’s definitely something.
I’m certainly not jumping out of my underpants over it like Drew Barrymore and … well, whatever other celebrities say it’s the best facial of the century. But if a friend asked me if she (or he) should try it, I’d say yes. Because every skin type is different, and I have no doubt it works wonders for a lot of people. And I AM glad I got the 4-application set rather than the single-application starter. I plan to run through this whole scenario every 2 weeks until it’s gone, and if I had to guess right now, I’d say I’ll probably order another set to see what the long-term results are like.
If you want to give it a try, you can order it here. Hanacure has not sponsored, nor have they endorsed, this post. It’s just mah experience.