"Baby Sprinkles" are stupid. First of all, call it a damn shower. Because it is. Secondly, nobody wants to come. Including you. Be honest—wouldn't you rather be at home, napping in comfy clothes?
Humor Parenting

Why “Baby Sprinkles” Are a Bit Too Much

"Baby Sprinkles" are stupid. First of all, call it a damn shower. Because it is. Secondly, nobody wants to come. Including you. Be honest—wouldn't you rather be at home, napping in comfy clothes?

By Celeste of And What A Mom!

Have you heard of a Baby Sprinkle? It’s growing in popularity as a less-formal baby shower for someone’s second or latter child. While having a baby shower for a second- or third-time mom is not unheard of, people feel the need to rationalize the party by calling it a sprinkle, therefore making it seem simpler, less cheesy, and hopefully involving less cornball baby games.

Well, I’ve got news for you. Baby sprinkles, or whatever you want to call them, are still lame. People are still going to be rolling their eyes and finding excuses not to be in town that weekend. Here’s why.

1. You don’t need more stuff.

If you have one kid already, you likely have everything you need for the second critter on the way. And don’t tell me you’re having a different gender so you need to start fresh. The only thing you could argue needing is new clothes, but if you’ve ever seen the clothes people give at baby showers, you know they’re not practical, everyday wear. They’re mini tuxes or turquoise princess dresses. Great for oohs and aahs at a party, but terrible for taking the baby to the grocery store. Find some onesies on Amazon, or even better, try Craigslist where people are practically giving away baby clothes in boxes. You’re welcome.

Oh, you’re not going to ask for gifts, you say? It will be a diapers only party? Did your local Target run out of diapers? You’re basically just asking people to give you grocery money, then. Which is fine; we all need grocery money and diapers are expensive. But rather than put on a tacky party to elicit charity from your friends, why not start a GoFundMe campaign? At least that way no one has to dress up and find a babysitter.

2. Nobody wants to come.

People will tell you they want to come. People will encourage you to have a party for your baby. But secretly they are dreading this party and hoping they will conveniently be busy when the evite rolls in.

A lot of the people you’re inviting probably joined you for your first shower, so they’re thinking, “Why on earth does she need another one?” Let’s face it: Your first shower is a different ball game. After all, it was your first, and people want to be supportive. But asking for second handouts is asking a lot, and most of your friends have things they’d simply rather be doing than playing games guessing how large your belly is measuring or what chocolate candy bar is represented by which poopy diaper. Good Lord, just the fact that you even have to disguise the name of the party from “shower” to “sprinkle” so people don’t catch on to the fact that you’ve done this before speaks volumes.

3. You’re tired, cranky, and enormous.

I can’t think of a better time to be the guest of honor at a party than when you feel like Jabba the Hut, can you? Seriously, this is a terrible time to be playing dress-up and sipping on soda spritzers. People already saw your pregnant belly at the first shower, so I promise you they’re not chomping at the bit to see it again. Wouldn’t you rather be napping, anyway?

Instead of having to dust off your makeup supplies and find a maternity dress that doesn’t look like a potato sack, have someone watch your kids and take a nap instead. It will be far more fulfilling.

4. You’re hormonal and a wee bit sensitive.

Once the RSVPs start rolling in and everyone is conveniently out of town the day of your shower, this idea of a fun little get-together gets serious fast. And you, my dear pregnant lady, will be mad, upset, and start to ugly cry. And mostly you’re crying because you’re pregnant and everything makes you cry these days, but you’re also crying because you feel rejected and like no one cares about you and the poor new baby who’s totally getting the shaft for something that isn’t their fault, and it’s not fair! Ok, breathe.

And maybe I’m wrong. Maybe people will still come to the party. But you’ll be extra sensitive to the snarky comments from people like your second cousin who says, “It seems like we just did this,” and your aunt who asks if “this time, will there be any wine?”

5. You deserve so much better.

You only have so much time before a newborn emerges from your crevices and you are engulfed in an endless cycle of feeding, burping, swaddling, and pining for some sleep. Use this time more strategically, Mama! Hand the kids off to your partner or a sitter and do a spa day, or go to a coffee shop by yourself (gasp!) and pretend like you have nothing better to do than check your Facebook like everyone else there. Or forget the sitter and do something extra special with your kids now before the newborn consumes you and all your time.

Or, if you’ve read through this whole list and still aren’t convinced, have the damn sprinkle. Get dressed up, smile for pictures, and get ready to write a bunch of thank you cards. Hell, you might even have a good time. But do me a favor and stop calling it a sprinkle. If it looks like a shower and functions like a shower, it’s a shower, folks. No cheesy play on words is going to mask the fact. And please serve booze. You can put your guests through that teetotalism BS the first time around, but by the second one, you owe it to them, and quite frankly, they deserve it.


About the Author

Celeste is a writer, a storyteller, and a marketing professional, and shares parenting tips, life hacks, and her favorite stories on this crazy journey called parenting. Follow her adventures and learn about The Ultimate Mom Challenge™ on her website And What A Mom! or Facebook.