Nike has created slip-on fanny pack sandals and I think I kind of love them. Or hate them. I don’t know. (Secretly I looove them.)
Whether you’re tired of stuffing your credit card and keys into the top of your bra; you’ve had enough of lugging around a ten-gallon purse we all know is full of random toys, hair ties, and half-eaten Goldfish crackers (because kids); or you are suffering temporary insanity and wear dental floss as pants…
…Nike has just created what may be the perfect shoe accessory.
In case your ticket to the 2018 New York Spring Fashion Week was lost in the mail, fanny packs are back with a vengeance under the newly sophisticated label “belt bags.” But Nike has taken the bum bag trend to a whole other level. Right down to our toes.
Whether you are gasping in horror or squealing in delight, I think the Nike Benassi Fanny Pack Slides may possibly be genius.
Okay, let’s face it. They ARE genius.
The sandals debuted June 1 for $50 and are currently sold out online (because, Hello, awesome.) They have a zippered pouch on the strap and come in three color choices: “Hey! Look at me!” aqua and magenta and “Please don’t notice me” black.
Not a fan? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. Here are some alternatives.
Why not try the jellies throwback by Acne Studios? For a mere $580, you can relive your favorite rubber sandals glory days:
Acne Studios Jessee Hybrid Sandals
In keeping with the rubber theme, why not try a new pair of Crocs? These Balenciaga Platform Crocs bedazzled with what looks like plastic Shopkins charms may be the shoe for you. They retail for only $850.
Platform Crocs by Demna Gvasalia for Balenciaga
Or maybe you prefer the ultra-sexy classic look – sandals with socks. Crocs has also come out with a new line that is sure to blow your socks off (or in this case, keep them on.) Yup, that’s right. They’re attached. Wow, Crocs, you’re really out-doing yourself these days.
Alife For Crocs
With so many fashion designers like Chanel, Balmain, Moschino, and Calvin Klein embracing the clear plastic footwear trend, it can’t possibly be wrong. Except for maybe the steam that’s created by your sweaty feet. That’s wrong. You could always save yourself the $1200 and wrap your feet in clear plastic bags.
Chanel High Boots
— British Vogue (@BritishVogue) October 3, 2017
Want to avoid sweaty feet altogether? Why not try these custom-made cowboy boot sandals from Redneck Boot Sandals? Just send them a pair of your favorite giddy-up-and-go boots and for $150 they will turn them into toe-baring san-boots or boo-dals. (I know, I know. Let’s just call them cowboy boot sandals.)
Redneck Boot Sandals
Or you could go with these beauties, because who doesn’t want embroidered toes with toe rings on their footwear? Me. That would be me.
JW Anderson Loewe Resort 2019 Collection
Admit it, the Nike slides are starting to look pretty good right about now. You know you love them. Go on, buy a pair or two. Just Do It.