By Amy Hunter of The Outnumbered Mother
In a huge about face, Donald Trump has realized with his recent comments that Mexican immigrants are rapists and “bad people,” he’s torpedoed his chances in acquiring the Latino vote for President of the United States.
A source close to Trump has stated, “Look, The Donald really screwed the pooch with his comments about Mexican immigrants. He thought having a strong stance on border patrol would help his chances with the American people. I mean, let’s face it, Mexicans are the red-headed step children of all Latinos. He obviously didn’t think his statements through and realize that for every illegal immigrant, they have 10 legal residents in their family who are American voters.”
In a recent report on the Howard Stern Show, random Latinos on the streets of New York were asked who they would rather have babysit their kids: Donald Trump or El Chapo, the Mexican drug lord who just recently escaped from prison and is rumored to have murdered hundreds of Mexican citizens.
“Well, The Donald was mortified that the average Latino voter preferred to have El Chapo watch their children,” claims a Trump staffer. “I mean, Don is an arrogant prick, but he’s never actually murdered anyone. At least not that we have knowledge of.”
So in a stunning turn of events, Trump is trying to reinstate some trust with the Mexican people by offering free child care services, provided by none other than The Donald himself, to prove that he’s not only ready for the nomination by the Republican party, but also that he’s a better babysitter than an escaped drug cartel kingpin and mass murderer.
A spokesman for Trump stated, “Donald made The Apprentice a household name; he can definitely watch a handful of migrant workers’ brats for a couple hours to increase voter trust.”
We’re still waiting on word from El Chapo’s camp whether he’d be willing to run through the babysitting gauntlet Trump has thrown down.
About the Author
Amy Hunter grew up in the suburbs of Long Island singing Barbara Streisand hits into her hairbrush. When she’s not writing her hilarity fueled parenting memoir as The Outnumbered Mother, she’s a Florida living, butt wiping, soccer team carting, gourmet chef attempting, tennis skirt wearing, non-tennis playing, self-proclaimed bad mamma jamma to 3 sons and a very understanding husband. You can find Amy’s work as a featured writer for Scary Mommy, Today Parents, The Huffington Post, The Mid, Mamalode, In The Powder Room, and in two anthologies: Scary Mommy’s Guide to Surviving the Holidays and It’s Really 10 Months: Special Delivery. Follow her onFacebook and Twitter.