By Barrie Bismark of The Daily Dump
This month, Guinness World Records named a new “Netflix Selection” champion. Unbelievable as it may seem, it happened: the previous record of 3.5 hours was shattered by a Minneapolis threenager when she made a decision, and chose a Netflix movie.
Just a mere three hours. That’s all it took for a local three-year-old child to pick a single movie from the Netflix lineup. Little did she know at the time, she would be crowned the new world champion.
When interviewed by Matt Lauer of the Today Show, her mother, Barrie Bismark, relived that life-changing moment.
“No one can quite prepare you for a moment like this. I never thought it could actually happen to me; to my child. I mean…I knew it would take a while for her to make up her mind. A decision of this magnitude shouldn’t be rushed and definitely can’t be taken lightly. I had no idea she would make up her mind so quickly and be so confident in her decision.”
Bismark recalled that the day started out like any other Thursday. “I was drinking my coffee and still trying to wake up when she asked for a movie. Instantly, I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach…you know the one. The sweating started, the nausea began to set in, and my blood pressure sky-rocketed.
“I took a few deep breaths and began to get ready for the dreaded process that parents know all too well. I fumbled around with the remote, trying to access Netflix like a bumbling idiot. That spunky little thing grabbed it from my hand and navigated it to Netflix like a boss.
“She thought long and hard, hemmed and hawed, and went back and forth. I was instructed to get her a snack, which I assumed was to keep her energy up for this decision-making marathon. Of course, like an asshole, I brought her the wrong thing.
“I tried to speed up the process and make movie suggestions based on her previous choices. Wrong again. Clearly this was all her. In hindsight, it was pretty stupid to rush something like this. ‘Scary Ghost With A Red Shirt’ and ‘Movie With A Purple Car’ were NOT in the running. I don’t know what the hell was I thinking anyway.
“And then, right before lunch, AND in just under three hours, a decision was made. It was like nothing I have ever seen,” Bismark remembered. (For those of you new to parenting, this speed is essentially unheard of for a three-year-old.)
Bismark remembered, it was suspenseful up until the very last second. “Was it going to be the ‘Big Monkey That is Scary,’ or would it be ‘Slappy Falls on a Rug With a Present.’ It really could have gone either way. We had scrolled through at least 10,000 movie titles over and over again. Just when I was about to lose my shit, she did it. She picked.”
The sighs of relief and yelps of joy could be heard across the neighborhood. One elderly bystander stated, “We were walking by the house and heard the glorious cheers and pure elation of the mother. We knew something amazing had just happened. Never imagined anything like this could ever happen in our neighborhood.”
Sadly, the excitement didn’t last for long. After just 15 short minutes, the threenager changed her mind once again and wanted something else. Her mother’s screams of anger and frustration could be heard almost a mile away.
A version of this post was first published on The Daily Dump.
About the Author
I’m Barrie. I’m sarcastic, vocal, stubborn, strong willed, and kind of a pain in the ass. I have a husband who I have been married to for 11 years and three beautiful children boy (8), girl (6), and girl (3). Being a mom is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but also one of the most rewarding. I am amazed every day at the chaos, laughs, adventures, and exhaustion that motherhood brings. I have been featured on Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Babble, Parent Co., Sammiches and Psych Meds, For Every Mom, Bon Bon Break, and am a contributing writer for Suburban Misfit Moms, Modern Mom, and Her View From Home. (Follow Barrie on her blog The Daily Dump, on Facebook, on Twitter, and on Pinterest.