Autism: “self + -ism” (from the Greek prefix, auto = self)

1. a mental condition, present from early childhood, characterized by social-interaction difficulties, communication challenges and a tendency to engage in repetitive behaviors (oxforddictionaries.com, autismspeaks.org)
2. 2. a tendencytoview life in terms of one’s own needs and desires. (dictionary.com)  Isn’t this everyone?

My definition: exhaustion (sprinkled with anxiety and a dash of humor)

WTF?  Did she just say turkey pacifier?

Yup.  Not being metaphorical at all.  I mean a legit chunk of meat being sucked on as a way of pacifying.

Vomit in your mouth just a little bit?  Me too.

A little back story: Big C (my three year-old recently diagnosed with ASD) has never used a pacifier.  I never had to deal with the weaning of the binky.  Hey, I had to luck out somewhere.

However, Big C has always been a big fan of lunch meat.  Not the worst thing, right?  I mean, yeah, it’s loaded with sodium and preservatives and blah, blah, blah.  I figure it’s a hell of a lot better than pigging out on fruit snacks and Doritos all day. (No judgment if your kid does that.)

I never really thought much of his desire for it.  I can’t even remember the exact moment it started.  One afternoon I just started noticing he was eating it all throughout the day.  He started requesting a “little piece” with breakfast, on his sandwiches for school, when he got home from school, right before dinner, right before bed…

Then one time when I had to wake him up from his nap, I noticed an unpleasant meaty odor coming from his mouth.

He was sucking on turkey in his sleep!  

When you’re done gagging, continue reading.

That’s when I knew we might have a little problem on our hands.  It was time for an intervention.  An Oscar Meyer Oven Roasted Turkey Breast intervention.

Turns out sucking on lunch meat soothes Big C.  It’s a sensory thing.  The second he pops a chunk into his mouth, he goes into this zen-like zone.  He stares into space, his mouth twitching like a rabbit’s as he sucks on it.  It completely calms him down when he’s having a manic moment.

It is so freakin’ bizarre and so freakin’ hilarious.

But no harm, no foul, as far as I’m concerned.  I do recognize the dangers of choking on it and have been weaning him from it before nap and bedtime, but aside from that, though, I say…

…let the boy enjoy his turkey crack.

This post originally appeared on Contemplative Chaos.