Facebook is wonderful; don't get me wrong. It's a great way to connect with others. But it's also a great way to lose one's sanity. From debates about public breastfeeding to ear piercing, it is driving me crazy.
Humor Life

This is Why Facebook is Making Me Crazy

Facebook is wonderful; don't get me wrong. It's a great way to connect with others. But it's also a great way to lose one's sanity. From debates about public breastfeeding to ear piercing, it is driving me crazy.

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I first want to thank Facebook for the “follow” button. When I am tired of hearing reading opinions on Gay Marriage, The Confederate Flag, Breastfeeding, and Breastfeeding in Public, I no longer have to unfriend people I actually like. Now I can hit that button and only see a few of their posts here and there.

A lot of things on Facebook drive me crazy. So much so I’ve decided to discuss them. I did a shorter version on my Facebook Fan Page The Queen’s SoapBox Confessions a week or so ago. Now I find it time to get into these things. Really give you my opinion.

Ear Piercing Ban

I said it once and I will say it again: My mother pierced my ears when I was five. Yes, I remember it. Yes, I was a little traumatized. I’m glad she did it, though I wish she would have done it earlier before I could reach up and attempt to rip out the earrings. Being five, my hair was long and it got tangled in my earrings. I cried and wanted them out. If I had been younger, I would have been adjusted to my hair yanking on them. People are now saying it’s abuse. Really? I’d so much rather hear about real abuse than piercing ears.

Women With Long Pit Hair

If this is your thing, kudos. I am terrified of this backward trend. Do men really like this? Do husbands enjoy their wives spending more money on hair dye? I already spend quite a bit to keep the mop on top decent. I mean, I guess I’d be saving money on razors, but it still skeeves me out. People are growing their pit hair and dying it. They are braiding it and paying a lot of attention to it. I’d rather shave it off and raise my arms to play volleyball than show everyone how purple my pit hair is. What’s next? Growing and dying leg hair? Excuse me while I sit this out.

Abusive Tattooed Parents

What the ever-loving fuck? Who came up with this? I have one tattoo and I’m not starving my kids for drugs. J-bug’s womb donor has zero tattoos and she let him drink half of 130 mgs of methadone. I saw a video on Facebook of a woman beating her child and she had no tattoos. I’m not saying that parents without tattoos are abusive either. PEOPLE can be shitty parents. People can be abusive. Having some ink on our skin has no effect on parenting skills. Being a shitty parent makes you a shitty parent. Abusing your children makes you an abusive parent. Saying only tattooed parents are abusive is like saying only brunette women have a medical degree. Nonsense; just nonsense.

 Shared Facebook Accounts

While I already touched base on this on my fan page, I’m going to bring it up again. Sometimes sending a message to a friend on Facebook is just easier. If there are two people using the same account, how do I know who I’m talking to? I don’t.

This was the point to my attempt at a joke on Facebook. If you feel like I’m bashing your relationship, you need to dig a bit into your own feelings. So what if one-half of your relationship doesn’t use Facebook that often? Create an account for them anyway. They can have their own friends, their own opinions, their own pictures.

I want my husband to take pictures of me while I’m sleeping and post them, calling me beautiful. I don’t want him to do it on my Facebook. That’s my shit; leave it alone. If you have a joint Facebook account, good for you! I don’t really care if you do have one. I care about asking who I’m talking to. Maybe that set of friends and I lost contact? What if I don’t have their phone number to text them? See, all I want to know is if it’s safe to send you a picture of my fat roll, OK?

Perfect Parents

There is no such thing. Stop acting like the perfect parent. Yes, you are doing a good job. Pat yourself on the back for me. Now stop acting like the way I’m parenting my children is wrong.

Each person, each adult, each parent, has their own way of doing things. Just because we do things differently does not mean I’m doing it wrong. I love seeing the pictures of your babies, but I don’t want to hear how my making a threat of a punishment is wrong if I don’t follow through. Sometimes I’m fucking angry and I threaten to cut off fingers. Of course, I’m not going to follow through on injuring my child! Wouldn’t I be an abusive tattooed parent?

Time Hop

Ok, I get wanting to share pictures of your kids from three years ago. Isn’t that why someone came up with Throw Back Thursday? Hmm, maybe we should change this to Time Hop Thursday since all the Time Hop posts are throwbacks. Something to ponder.

Facebook shows us things we posted a year ago too. I’m tired of looking back every day. I want to keep looking forward. I love seeing the little pictures of kids, but some days it’s all I see in my news feed. It gets a little old. Ha ha. Gets a little old.

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Breastfeeding in Public

Wait, wait, wait. Do not get your panties in a bunch. Read what I have to say before you go on a rant.

I don’t care if you breastfeed in public; totally your business. I’m tired of people fighting about it on Facebook. I can understand each side to the story because I do not breastfeed. My kids are nine and ten, and they also happen to be boys. I am teaching them to appreciate women and their roles as mothers. It’s getting harder, though. Women want the right to bare their breasts when and wherever they feel like it. I agree it should be their choice. My boys are still learning, so instead of bashing me when my kids gawk, please be patient. Please understand this is a new thing for people; we have to learn to adjust and learn what to teach our children. Posting on Facebook about kids needing better parents isn’t going to help anything. Give the world time.

Inspirational Blogs

I appreciate you wanting to give me the courage to walk the beach in my bathing suit. I, however, will not do so. Yes, I love myself the way I am. I love my fat rolls, I love my stretch marks. I don’t think anyone else does, though. I don’t want to run the beach like Big Momma. I would really prefer to keep my fat tucked away for my viewing pleasure. A huge thumbs up for promoting happy body image, just please stop telling me what I should be doing with my fat.

Porn Links

When did Facebook stop monitoring what is being posted on Facebook? I see nipples and dicks all over! Facebook used to be a family-friendly site. Now if you go into a yard sale site, there are links to watch women doing the dirty with dogs. Bestiality should be something kept away from the internet. It shouldn’t be around at all, really. This new thing does not make me want to ever let my kids on Facebook.

Babies on Facebook

I don’t want to add your child to my friends list. They shouldn’t see some of the words I use. I’m probably going to delete you if your child is nine with a Facebook account. I’m not sure when or why our children’s safety became less of a concern. As times change, it’s easier and easier for predators to get into contact with innocent children. If you aren’t monitoring your child’s internet activity, how do you know who they are talking to?

The more kids learn about electronics, the easier it is for them to find a way to hide what they are doing online. If you are really set on allowing your child on the internet, you need to talk to a guru to find the best ways to monitor their activity. You do not want to be the mother or father whose child was kidnapped. Please think before you just allow your child on Facebook.

Now, not all of these things actually annoy me. They are things I see every day and have to keep my mouth shut about. Opinions are like assholes, and I don’t like to show mine to everyone. Now that I have this written, I can relax and hit the unfollow button. Life goes on, and no matter what I have to say, these things will continue to pop up in my news feed.