By Jeremy McKeen of Nerdy Dad Shirt
SHENZHEN, CHINA—Foxconn workers, makers of Target’s new “Trophy” shirt for women, are baffled by the uproar by Americans over the notion that women wouldn’t buy a shirt with such a message.
“Two of our biggest sellers are ‘Bros Over Hos’ and ‘Fuck Bitches, Get Money,’ and these Americans are upset about a beautiful trophy wife wearing a tongue-in-cheek cotton blend? It doesn’t add up,” commented one plant manager, who wished not to be named. “That shirt paid for 42 workers’ monthly salaries.”
In Colombia, where factory workers cut the t-shirts from whole cloth, one worker recounted the large amounts of material used for such shirts. “I imagine Americans are large mammoth people who never stop eating and drinking,” she said from the small apartment she shares with her parents and children. “I work on the XXXL line, and my cousin cuts fabric for tents. Sometimes we have the same size cut for our products.”
Here in America, outraged groups are calling for a boycott of the t-shirt, citing the stretched/plunging neckline and simple design as indication that it’s more of a “casual sangria with friends” shirt or even a “workout and cleaning” shirt and not really a formal “trophy wife out on the town” blouse to keep in line with actual fashion trends. “It has that lower-SoHo vibe that’s kind of played out,” said Keira McKinley, local New York wannabe trophy wife and brunch expert. “Nobody who matters will buy this or take it seriously, unless they’re unmarried or wearing it ironically. You know that, right?”
Meanwhile, America’s real trophy wives were undisturbed and offered no comment because, unlike the unwashed masses of lower class Americans, they do not shop at Target.
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About the Author
Jeremy McKeen is a high school English teacher, coach, musician, and father of three in Gloucester, MA where he writes at Nerdy Dad Shirt. He also writes the Bergamot Ink column at the Good Men Project, and is a contributor for BLUNTMoms, Scary Mommy, HuffPo Parents, Yahoo! Parenting, and the Gloucester Clam. You can find him on Facebook and Twitter.