By Crystal Lowery of Creepy Ginger Kid
Mothers from the activist group Parents Outraged In Neutral Toy Layouts Enforcing Sex Segregation (“POINTLESS” for short) are boycotting the Salvation Army charity stores because of their gender-integrated toy section.
POINTLESS president, Tiffany Poppycock, was furious when she went inside the charity shop to find that boys and girls toys were sold alongside one another.
“I took my son to the Salvation Army because he had never seen a poor person. When he wandered over to the toy section, he was horrified to find the trucks intermixed with the dolls. This was clearly an attempt to brainwash my child by the Liberal Elite, so I took immediate action in order to maintain his masculinity–I rubbed his face in the armpit of a jacket an old man had died in so that my son could inhale the male pheromones.”
POINTLESS feels that subjecting shoppers to gender integration infringes on their civil rights.
“Who does the Salvation Army think they are, exposing my son to Barbie dolls? Those large-bosomed, blonde vixens belong in the hands of impressionable girls so that they learn to understand realistic body image standards.”
The Salvation Army was unavailable for comment as they were too busy helping veterans, providing food and shelter for the homeless and elderly, assisting with emergency relief for those in disaster situations, doing prison ministry, combating human trafficking, rehabilitating adults struggling with drug and alcohol addictions, and doing general humanitarian work rather than stirring up useless culture wars.
About the Author
Crystal Lowery is an American mom working in England. By day, she does medical research, by night she wrangles two toddlers, a boy and a girl. She has made millions laugh on The Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Sammiches & Psych Meds, In the Powder Room, Mumsnet and others. You can find her blogging at Creepy Ginger Kid and she’d love for you to follow her on Facebook.