5 Tiny Houses You Shouldn’t Actually Buy

By Julie Vick of

If HGTV is an accurate representation, some people are rushing to buy the tiniest houses possible. But when is a house too tiny? Here are a few that might be:

A Tiny House in the Trees: This quaint home features a stunning view of the sunset set against a sea of suburban roofs. Open air concept with rustic charms: uneven floorboards, dull rusty nails, and tattered pirate flag. Comes with adjacent normal-sized home that you can use for storing your collection of antique ketchup bottles.

 Charming Nano Home That’s not Just for Play: Find one of these at a neighbor’s house or perhaps in your own back yard. Choose walls made of plastic (Easy upkeep! No need to repaint!) or hipster modern pine accented with white scalloped trim. Upgrades include attached half picnic table, real working doors and windows, and plastic cooking range with nobs that actually turn. Easy to transport in the back of a pick-up – put it in a grassy meadow or outside the Brooklyn Public Library to bake pies. (Exclusions: cookware, checkered curtains, electricity, and floors.)

The Customizable Mini Fort: Construct this small abode with found items from your (or an acquaintance’s) living room. Plush cushions can easily transform into luxe walls and ceilings, and the gaps between walls are barely noticeable. A colorful crocheted afghan always makes a nice roof. When you grow tired of your current design, simply take it apart and rebuild within minutes. You will need to find your own land for this tiny house – but why not locate it in the mountains or near the sea?

The Teeny House with a Touch of Culture: Visit the nearest museum and find an area designed for small humans. There will likely be some sort of fake cave or crawl space you can occupy as your new house. You will need to share it with others during the day, but at night you can have it to yourself (Hint: hide in the bathroom at closing time to avoid eviction). House is impervious to bad weather and nearby fountain may offer an opportunity for bathing. Refer to Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler’s mixed up files for further guidance.

A Petite Al Fresco House: You can find one of these gems in most neighborhoods. Its bone-like structure may be formed into a pirate ship, a rocket, or a bus (use your imagination!). Features could include a steering wheel that controls nothing, binoculars you can’t see through, or occasional leftover goldfish crackers and juice boxes. Note: despite the many amenities, this type of tiny house is really best used as your summer house.


About the Author

Julie Vick is a writer living in Colorado whose work has appeared in McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, Brain, Child, and You can read more of her work at or follow her on Twitter @vickjulie.