Spring has sprung! Ha, no it hasn’t, unless you live somewhere other than the Northeast, Midwest, or a place with actual seasons. Because despite the calendar telling us the time of tulips should be here and nostril icicles should be over, instead, Elsa’s eternal winter is like, “Hold my beer.” So it’s not surprising that many of us head to warmer weather during spring break. And, it’s also not surprising that many of us don’t. Because money. Also, traveling with kids can suck worse than having an infected toenail turn to gangrene.
Therefore, lots of us parents have spent the last few weeks doing the following: Bitching about the cold. Being stuck inside for a week with our kids, while bitching about the cold. And staring at the dust and clutter we’ve accumulated the past few months, while stuck inside with our kids… and bitching about the cold. And we also know the BEST part—spring sports!–is just around the corner. Yay! (*cries*)
So we tweet about it.
“Rain, rain, you can stay.
You’re getting me out of a soccer game!”
A parent’s lullaby.
— Julie Burton (@ksujulie) April 29, 2017
The weather is warming up so now the kids can finally go outside and get some fresh air while they play on their phones.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) March 20, 2017
5-year-old: When do we have to go back to school?
5: *slides me a penny* When now?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) April 4, 2018
“That’s a very pretty cardigan. Did you buy it just for spring break?”
–Girls Gone Mild
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) August 11, 2013
My wife is getting rid of all the clutter. If you see the kids and me standing out by the street, it means we didn’t make the cut this year.
— α geek (@alfageeek) March 17, 2013
It’s the first day of Spring, or as we in the northeast like to call it, the first day of probably another month or so of winter.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) March 20, 2018
I told my kids “No tv during spring break” and then we laughed and laughed.
— Amy Flory (@FunnyIsFamily) April 10, 2015
After this week, if I don’t get an “I survived spring break” t-shirt, I’m gonna be pissed.
— OutnumberedMother (@OutNumbMother) March 16, 2017
To the first, hopeful crocuses that poked through the soil, only to be suffocated now by icy, unseasonal snow:
I get it.
— Ms. Havisham (@MissHavisham) April 2, 2018
It’s that time of year again when I can’t decide if I should start my spring cleaning or set the house on fire.
— the Mom TruthBomb (@momTruthBomb) March 7, 2017
Spring cleaning is just Mom yelling at everyone to pick up their crap in nicer weather.
— Mama Needs a Nap (@MamaNeedsa_Nap) April 4, 2018
My kids are too young for spring break so it’s just like every other fucking day but with everyone elses annoying ass kids around
— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) March 22, 2018
If you zoom in enough you can write “spring break” in your kid’s sandbox and the pictures will look like you’re at the beach.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 5, 2016
Spent 3 hours at IKEA yesterday so now my kids can’t say we didn’t go anywhere over spring break.
— Karen Johnson (@21stcenturysahm) April 8, 2018
“STOP MAKING SOUNDS!”
-Me, two hours into my kid’s Spring Break
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) April 1, 2017
Spring has sprung! Flowers blooming, vacations, kids home, fighting siblings, bloody noses, tears, boredom…How do we unspring this thing?
— Walking Outside (@WalkingOutside) March 20, 2017
Ahhh, don’t you feel better? Yeah, me neither. But that’s spring for ya—the season we look forward to all winter that usually ends up sucking ass. Personally, my fave part is that in our house, baseball season starts soon, so our Saturdays will be spent standing outside for 5 straight hours in freezing drizzle while our kids ask us 800 times how many more innings are left and if they can have a snack. LET’S DO THIS, BITCHES.