Well, it’s October and usually that means SPOOKY SEASON, BITCHES, but considering the fact we’re tits-deep in a global pandemic, there’s gonna be fewer tricks-and-treats and more masks-and-hand-san. Just another thing that 2020 has taken from us, because regardless of whether you choose to do the door to door thing or not, there’s gonna be some naysayers on either side of the fence.
Like most well-adjusted people, I LOVE Halloween, but I can act weird and gorge myself on candy any day of the week. Because I am an adult. The true losers in 2020 Halloween are the kids.
While many of us carry memories of staying out all night filling our sacks with candy and almost getting our arms blown off by firecrackers, the kids nowadays might remember this year as the lamest Halloween ever. Even if you do go trick-or-treating, it’s not gonna be the same as the glory days, and oh my gawd, is this our generation’s “back in my day” moment?
Much like everything else this year, Halloween is going to be different. If this is the new normal then stop the ride! I want off. Whatever happened to the good old days of wholesome fun like going to strangers houses and begging for treats, then washing it all down with some rumors about poisoned candy?
Ah, the good old days.
This Halloween can still be fun, sure, but it will definitely be different. And we’re all just gonna have to live with it because it’s 2020 and what the hell else can we do?
10 Funny Tweets About How Halloween is Fucked This Year
1. LEGIT TERRIFYING!
2. Wait for it…
You know someone's going to be Slutty Coronavirus this Halloween.
— Fiona Taylor (@fionaleslie) September 22, 2020
3. No. More. Tricks.
Do not ask me “trick or treat” this year. It is 2020 sir, you are tempting fate. Take your tiny Almond Joy and go.
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) October 1, 2020
4. Anything goes amirite *laughs nervously*
There’s like a 10 percent chance we’re under alien occupation by Halloween https://t.co/IDm2vAPYIZ
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) October 3, 2020
5. Look, I don’t make the rules.
the first person to throw a zoom costume party for Halloween and call it a "Cost-zoom Party" will unfortunately get banned from online, sorry
— Anna Lockhart (@aplockhart) September 25, 2020
6. Spooky, chilling, a real thrill ride.
People are all mad that Halloween is “canceled” as if 2020 hasn’t already been one long fucking horror movie.
— Arianna Bradford (@TheNYAMProject) October 7, 2020
7. Next stop, the pantry!
Me: Okay, you’re up
Kid: …. Trick or Treat
Me, opening kitchen cabinet: Look, candy!!
Kid: Mom, this is stupid
Me: Do you want candy or do you want to get infected and die???
— ThisOneSaysBoo (@ThisOneSayz) September 30, 2020
8. We’re all decaying at a rapid rate.
For Halloween this year I’m going as a much more broken down version of myself from earlier in the year.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) October 6, 2020
for halloween i'm gonna be emotionally stable. no one's gonna know it's me
— Pakulo Papito (@PakuloPapi) October 1, 2020
10. Look we’re all tired and there’s still a few months left so… fuck it.
for my scariest Halloween look this year I’m just gonna paint 2020 on my head and call it a day, honestly.
— NikkieTutorials (@NikkieTutorials) October 2, 2020
Whatever you do, have fun and stay safe!
And never forget the festive glory of stealing candy from your kids. It’s the one tradition we can keep, after all!