By Sarah Pierce
As a mom with a daughter, I struggle when I see people that only talk about how beautiful their daughter is, both in person and on social media. I see it so often, and it breaks my heart. I want to scream at them, “Your daughter is more than just a beautiful face, isn’t she?”
When I think of my daughter, the first thing I think isn’t that she’s beautiful or a princess. I think about her sense of humor, her silly toddler logic, or how smart she is. So when I see parents who only post about how beautiful their child is, it really breaks my heart.
Your posts on social media are forever – and when your child gets older and wants to see your Facebook profile or your Instagram account, you’re going to be sending the wrong message. If every childhood picture she sees when she looks back is how beautiful she is, how do you think she’ll feel in her awkward teenage years? What happens when she focuses in on that one thing about her that isn’t beautiful? When you focus solely on beauty, you’re taking away everything else she is.
Isn’t your daughter also smart?
Can’t you post a video of her singing her ABCs or learning something instead of just prancing around with a tiara on? Practicing her colors or naming off the favorite colors of her favorite people?
Isn’t your daughter also funny?
Can’t you share a story about how she made her first joke, laughed at an incredibly inappropriate time, or had you in tears because you were laughing so hard that she had said something that sounded exactly like it came out of her father’s mouth?
Isn’t your daughter also ridiculous?
Hasn’t she ever tried to extend bedtime because her foot itched, she needed different pajamas, her socks needed to come off and go on, or she needed a different blanket? I’d love to hear about it because I’m going through the same thing with mine.
Isn’t your daughter also silly?
Could you share a picture of her wearing her “block shoe” or making a silly face at you? Not every picture is perfect, but there are certainly plenty of silly moments to be captured and shared with your social network that would be appreciated.
Isn’t your daughter also irrational?
Hasn’t she ever thrown a fit about wanting to sleep on the floor or NEEDING to play with the cat food? I’d love to read a quick post about it, to learn more about her personality instead of constantly seeing that your daughter is beautiful. Of course she is.
Isn’t your daughter also emotional?
Hasn’t she cried over something, laughed herself to tears, or been so excited about a gift you got her that she lost it? Wouldn’t you find it great to see a photo like that or hear a story about someone else’s daughter who’s been there? I think it would be.
Isn’t your daughter also determined?
Haven’t you ever recorded her trying to be a big girl and put her own shoes on or pick out her own clothes? Haven’t you ever stifled a giggle because she was trying so hard to get the round block in the round hole and had that determined look on her face?
I wish you’d share these things on social media with me. While I’d like to spend more time getting to know her face to face, that’s just not possible in the busy world of today. I do, however, want to know about her personality – I want to know the things she does that make you laugh or make you want to freak out in frustration because I care about you and your daughter.
I also want you to remember that everything you post about her, every story you share, every moment you put out into the world, will be there forever, and I ask you – do you want your daughter to think you only thought she was pretty, or also that she was intelligent, funny, determined, and maybe even a little frustrating?
I hope the answer is yes.
**********
About the Author
Sarah Pierce is a Midwest mom with one crazy toddler, an awesome husband, and a ridiculous chocolate lab, surviving on caffeine, love, and as little sleep as humanly possible. She’s new to the blogging world (with a handful of articles under her belt between Sammiches & Psych Meds and Scary Mommy) with a full time job. Follow her on Twitter (@TriSarahTops04).