By now you’ve probably heard that Target has decided to do away with identifying toys and other children’s items by gender in their stores. You’ve probably also heard that this has caused quite the ruckus among concerned citizens and once-loyal Target shoppers.

It’s hard-hitting news and earth-shattering corporate decisions like these that can sometimes leave us a bit confused as to where we stand. Which is why I’ve concocted this trusty quiz to help you determine what your views are.

Play along, folks, and then share the results with your friends on social media so they know just whose side you’re on here. And whether or not they have to unfriend you immediately.

1. Which best characterizes your core beliefs when it comes to children’s toys?

A. Children’s toys don’t need be labeled according to gender. All toys are acceptable for children to play with regardless of whether those children are male or female. Exploring a wide variety of toys, from Barbies to monster trucks, is a healthy and natural part of learning about the world in which we live no matter which gender a child is.

B. Meh. I don’t really care. I usually buy my kids something it looks like they might be interested in. I’m good either way.

C. The Bible states that boys who play with Barbies and girls who play with monster trucks shall be smote in their sleep. God wants children’s toys to be separated according to gender. It’s in Deuteronomy (or something). This is a violation of the Lord’s will.

2. How do you feel about signage in stores?

A. I think signage in stores can be very helpful. For example, I like to know where the camping gear is located versus the automotive supplies. I don’t need anyone to distinguish these items as “for boys” or “for girls,” though. Men and women alike both enjoy camping and drive cars in need of maintenance. I have eyes and can use them to actually look at the products in a store to determine whether or not they would be appropriate for my personal needs. And if my vision is not so great or is absent altogether, I realize signage isn’t going to help me much anyway.

B. Whatever. I usually find things by wandering around for a bit until I stumble into the right section.

C. How am I supposed to find anything without gender-specific signage?! AM I SUPPOSED TO USE MY GOD-GIVEN SENSES TO LOCATE EVERYTHING NOW? How will I make sure what I’m buying won’t turn my children gay? I’m pretty sure stores are required to have clearly labeled signage. It’s written in the Constitution somewhere.

3. Which best characterizes your beliefs when it comes to tolerance of and empathy for fellow human beings?

A. I think being tolerant of and empathic toward fellow human beings is important. I realize that each person is different and that diversity is what makes our society rich and worthwhile. I would never take issue with an initiative geared toward making someone feel more comfortable or welcome in this world.

B. I haven’t really thought about it. Like I said, it’s cool either way.

C. Tolerance and empathy are what’s wrong with this country. When we start worrying about the minority, the terrorists win.

4. On a list of things worth getting riled up about in this world, where would you say gender-neutral labeling in retail outlets falls?

A. Definitely near the bottom. There are much greater things to worry about in this world — things like world hunger, war, racial injustice, and educational inequity, for example. I support gender-neutral initiatives because they serve to foster unity and acceptance of all individuals and their lifestyle preferences, and really, changing signage in a store has very little impact on me personally, or if it does, I am grateful that such a large corporation is showing its support and advancing change in this way. I am an intelligent person who can navigate my way through a shopping spree just fine.

B. I don’t get riled up. About much of anything.

C. At the top, hands down. Anyone who supports gender-neutral anything supports the pussification of this great country. It’s simply un-American. And gay. Very, very gay.

5. Would you consider moving to Canada if Target maintains its position on gender-neutral labeling?

A. What? No. Seriously?

B. That seems like a lot of work.

C. Hell yes, I’m moving to Canada if Target keeps up with this gender-neutral nonsense. It’s socialism at its finest. And I won’t support socialism!

Results:

Mostly As: You’re a level-headed person who embraces diversity and equality. It doesn’t matter whether you’re male, female, Republican, or Democrat. You support the Target initiative. And also, you’re not a bigot. Congratulations!

Mostly Bs: You are extremely laid back and are, as you say, “cool either way.” You must have some really great meds, too. Would you consider sharing?

Mostly Cs: You are the poster-child for ‘Murrica and Bill O’Reilly’s wet dream. You are tolerant of only people and initiatives that align with your beliefs and experiences. And you might even believe God lives somewhere in the Midwest. You do not support the Target initiative and have likely already left 86 nasty customer complaint messages on their phone system and social media accounts. Please move to Canada. PLEASE. (Sorry, Canada.)