Picture it: You’re desperately searching for something you know you left in the car when you start unloading all manner of nastiness from between the seats and on the floor of your vehicle. Old french fries. Used bandaids. A full package of Goldfish crackers your kids swore they needed or they’d die of starvation on that 25 minute ride to Grandma’s house.

We’ve all been there. Numerous times. But Zola Hayes of Sunnyvale, California has us all beat.

Hayes posted to Facebook what can only be described as the most horrifyingly hilarious car find of the century.

While searching her car for a debit card that she lost after a visit to Taco Bell, Hayes came across … wait for it … A DEAD FISH.

Yes, you read that right. A dead fish. As in, a fish that used to be alive but is now dead and was buried in her car. And she doesn’t even live by a lake.

Hayes wrote, in part:

You know what I found?

A fish. A fucking fish. In my passenger seat cushions. A FISH. I THOUGHT IT WAS A LEAF AND I TOUCHED IT AND IT WAS A FISH WHAT THE FUCK.

HOW DID THE FISH EVEN GET IN THERE? I HAVE MY DOORS LOCKED. I HAVENT BEEN TO A LAKE SINCE I GOT THIS CAR. HOW THE FUCK DID A FISH GET INTO MY CAR

WHO JUST PUTS A DRIED FISH IN SOMEONE ELSES CAR IM SO IRRATIONALLY ANGRY RN

I named him Grant

Girl, we feel you, and listen. I’ve found some pretty nasty stuff in my car, boogers ranking lowest on the disgusting scale. But a fish? A DEAD FISH? How does that even happen?

Naturally, my mind started wandering when I read her status. Like, did someone, in a desperate attempt to hide Goldie’s death from their children, see an open window and an opportunity and toss it in there? Did someone drag it in on the bottom of their shoe? And how does a dead fish wind up on the bottom of someone’s shoe, anyway? Was the fish dead or alive when it entered its final resting place? If it was alive, how did Hayes not smell it? The fish looks like it’s been there a while. When was the last time she cleaned her car? Scratch that. I can’t even remember the last time I cleaned mine. OH MY GOD DID SHE BUY THE CAR LIKE THAT? Did the previous owner or someone at the dealership have a dead fish fetish?

The possibilities are endless.

At the end of the day, I think everyone, parent or not, can relate to Hayes’ plight. Because while we may not have made it to Dirty Car: Dead Fish Level, we’re pretty damn close.

And the fact that she named it? That just makes the whole thing even more epic, not to mention makes me positive that I need to be her friend. Like yesterday.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some car hunting of my own to conduct. Somebody pass me my Hazmat suit.