I am not a morning person. Not even an early afternoon person. And apparently my kids could not care less, as evidenced by this list of things my 4-year-old asks before 9 am.

This sort of behavior should be illegal.

Who’s your mom?

Who’s your mom’s mom?

Who’s your mom’s mom’s mom?

Why is your hair long?

Why do you have eyes?

May I see a picture of you and Daddy together?

May I see a picture of Grandma and Grandpa together?

May I see a picture of a deer jumping on a deer?

May I see a picture of someone dancing on my head?

Can you hear me?

Will you turn on a show for me?

May I have a fruit bar?

May I have an applesauce?

Why do you have this brush?

Why do you wear pants?

Why are you old?

Who’s someone that’s older than you?

Who’s someone that’s taller than you?

Who’s someone that’s shorter than you?

Can we make pancakes?

Can we read a book?

Want a piece of me?  Do ya?  Do ya?  DO YA?

Why aren’t you eating me?

Why do you have a Michigan tattoo on your back? (No one has this on his or her back.)

Want me to make you a necklace out of paper?

Want me to make you a bracelet out of paper?

Do you want a scribble Spartan? (WTF?)

What’s your favorite?

What’s your favorite kind of apple?

What’s your favorite kind of clothes?

What’s your favorite kind of picture?

Whenever I say 16 or 6, you say stop, OK?

Want me to get you a graham cracker?

Please can I get you a graham cracker?

What’s 100 plus 30?

What does that mean?

What number is that?  Think in your head!

What’s your favorite letter?

What’s your favorite jewelry?

Want to know how I made this?

Want to make this with your students at your work?

Will you show me a video on your phone?

Want me to poke your head with this?

Want me to poke your neck with this?

Want me to poke your face with this?

Can you make me breakfast?

Want to sing ABCs?

I AM EXHAUSTED, YOU GUYS.