By Sherene Buffa of Mama’s Doody

Everything changes. Good or bad, easy or hard. One thing certain in this life is change will come. As a mother, you have to experience changes you aren’t often ready for. The changes come quickly, from learning how to soothe your colicky newborn (nothing ever worked) to fighting with your over-sensitive preschooler about wearing underwear. It seems change is always on the rise when you’re a mom.

Don’t blink, though. Don’t blink. The days, while they can drag on and some days seem longer than others, the years — the years are but a fleet of time.

I have experienced two newborn phases and am in the midst of rearing my second toddler. My first child taught me SO. MUCH. She had and has more will in her than a tornado. To say I have aged a bit in the last four years is quite an understatement.

Colic is the holy nightmare to brand new parents. You have images in your mind while pregnant of placing your infant to bed in her crib, watching her in tranquility as she settles into a slumber. What a bunch of BS. We did everything to get our baby to sleep. She slept in her car seat the first couple weeks of life (with our pediatrician’s blessing) because nothing soothed her. When the colic settled and we learned her rhythm — and we thought we had it all figured out – she changed it on us. By 18 months old she was climbing — scratch that, hurdling — out of her crib, head first.

Age three seemed OK at first, but then we entered the torrential threenager phase. Ups and downs, ups and downs… so many ups and downs with behavior and her emotions, and then we brought a new baby into the picture. People warned me that when a new sibling is born, the other children revert backward. I shrugged it off thinking I had been through the worst of it all. Ha! I had not.

A couple of weeks after little sister arrived, the 4-year-old starting waking around 5:00 – 5:30 a.m. ready to start her day. We had to remind her probably 100 times per day to be gentle with her baby sister, to not lay on her, shout in her ear, the basics of keeping a newborn alive.

And then one day, boom. Something with being potty trained for two years fell to the wayside. She started having more accidents, and by accidents, I mean just peeing in the middle of the hardwood floor. She grew extremely agitated if her underwear got a little sprinkle of urine in it. If she wasn’t wiped properly, the world as we knew it had ended. Every day seemed like boot camp for us. Dodging many tantrums, going through 5 pairs of underwear per day, and threatening we’d take her Barbies away if she refused to go potty (which was all the time). This, of course, all took place while caring for her baby sister (a newborn with demands all her own).

All this training with my eldest taught me to just deal. I have changed as a second-time mom: less patience, more confidence, more tough love. While I am still me, I am in so many ways not.

Going into this whole motherhood thing I had no idea what type of mom I’d be. I didn’t want to be an overprotective mom because I was raised by one. And the very thing I said I wouldn’t be – I am. I cannot help but mother the way I do. And yet, I often wonder what type of mother I will be when my girls are less reliant on me. Will I be able to accept the changes as they move on to the many phases of their lives: the teenage years and young adulthood? I feel my mother struggled with that. I am happy to have survived two newborn phases with my mentality (somewhat) still intact.

There are an incredible amount of things my girls have yet to experience. I feel like I can control what they are exposed to now, as they are so young and under my care. But as they grow, I lose that control. And rightfully so, because it is their life to live. Motherhood feels right on me right now. “I got this” is definitely a slogan I would chant. Finally, I think. Will I be so confident another five, heck, even ten years down the road? Will the level of comfort I have now as a mom be just as strong then? I don’t know.

The seasons change on their own without much effort. From fall to winter, from spring to summer – it all flows smoothly. Just when you get comfortable with summer, the leaves start to turn bright orange and you know change is coming. You smell it in the air, you feel it your bones. I hope as my girls grow from children into teenagers I will be able to offer them my wisdom, not just as a mother, but as a former teen myself. I hope I can transition easily into what it is they need. I want to be the mom they need with each season of their life.

I have heard other mothers say, “They will always be your babies.” I agree. I just don’t want to underestimate their worth by seeing them in my eyes as the babies they once were and will (at that point) no longer be. I want to accept the passing of time and to not get stuck in the way I see them in my mind’s eye.

My preschooler at times acts beyond her young age, which shakes me a bit. It gives me a sense of what will be, and it is a little scary. I tell myself she is growing up. And maybe kids do grow up faster nowadays. I just want to be ready, or even a bit ahead, of the change that will inevitably be.

I do believe there are seasons in motherhood: the season of baby, the season of child, the season of teen, and the season of young adult. I pray I can be the best mother for all seasons.

A version of this post was originally published on Mama’s Doody.

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About the Author

Like all mamas, my days are filled to the brim with endless duties while wiping doodies. Mama’s Doody was created when I was on maternity leave with my second daughter. I enjoy nothing more than being a mama but that doesn’t mean life is easy peasy. Raising tiny humans can be quite tiresome. Luckily for me I get through my days with a little help from my friends: coffee, chocolate, and wine. Come read, laugh, and cry with me on this wonderful journey. Follow Sherene on Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.