I know the following facts about Cracker Barrel to be true:
- It is great hangover food
- You should never order sweet tea at a store outside of the southern US
- I can kick your ass at the triangle peg puzzle
- Macaroni is a vegetable
- The cherry-flavored 5-pound Gummy Bear costs more than the green apple one
- They fired Brad’s wife
Who is Brad’s wife? Nobody knows. Except, I would assume, Brad.
But in this day of discord and division, there are at least two things that can bring us all together in unity for a common purpose: lighthearted trolling and pregnant giraffes.
While we grow old waiting for April to have her baby, the internet has moved forward to troll the shit out of Cracker Barrel for firing a person we know nothing about. Was she let go for nefarious reasons? Discrimination? Refusing to water down the maple syrup? Or did she get fired for spitting in food? It honestly doesn’t matter (unless you are Brad and his wife) because we have found our cause as a country, and that cause is…
It appears that Cracker Barrel has removed the ability for visitors to post on their Facebook page. Fortunately, screenshots are forever.
In the meantime, the masses have moved on to commenting on every single post Cracker Barrel puts up.
Seriously. Don’t fuck with Brad’s wife.
Well, the @CrackerBarrel breakfast was amazing as always. We left an open seat in honor of #BradsWife pic.twitter.com/0rM7FANuRR
— Evansville Police (@EvansvillePD) March 24, 2017
Brad’s wife: “Who on the Internet is going to care that I got fired Brad?”
Internet:#BradsWife #BradsWifeMatters #justiceforbradswife pic.twitter.com/6BNT9sqH5d
— Miss Manners (@mrsmandarin) March 24, 2017
Even morally questionable Chick-fil-A is getting in on the action.
Songs have been written….
We at Sammiches and Psych Meds stand strong with #BradsWife (unless she was fired for doing something gross).