A freakishly horrifying yet oddly calming video is making the rounds on social media lately. It’s called “Hi, Stranger” by Kristen Lepore and it is … I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DESCRIBE IT.

It’s best if you just watch for yourself and then scroll on down for the debrief.

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So … SEE WHAT I MEAN?

I feel such a mixture of emotions watching this. On one hand, I feel giggly. Because BUTT. Hehehehe.

But then I feel a little creeped out. Like, what is going on with this body? Nobody naturally contorts quite that much when lying face down. It’s unsettling. I mean, I realize this is not an actual person. But it’s supposed to mimic an actual person, right? And that butt. It jumps out and slaps the eyeballs, but not in a good way, you know? I just … *shudder*

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And then there’s that face. Where’s the nose? TELL ME WHERE THE NOSE IS. And those eyes. Serial killer eyes. This guy hunts unsuspecting victims in the Wal-Mart parking lot, I’m sure of it. I was clutching my Mace the whole way through the viewing just to be safe.

But right when I thought I couldn’t handle another second of the weirdly pervy train wreck before me, I was drawn in by the soothing background music and soft voice. I felt a calm wash over me. It was like I had been partially hypnotized, which I don’t actually have any experience with, so I can’t say for sure, but I imagine this is what hypnosis sort of feels like.

And that sunset. Ahhh. Not real, of course. But peaceful. *sigh*

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Best of all? The positive affirmations. I am great, dammit. Thanks, bizarre Gumby-type dude without a nose. I feel so refreshed. So … Wait, stop looking at me like that, man. What are you drawing? WHAT ARE YOU DRAWING OMG?

Oh, OK, seems innocent enough, I guess. Back to feeling so … so centered. So uplifted. So … disturbed but also calm but in a way that makes me still want to hold my keys in a fist between my fingers on the off-chance a stalker jumps out from behind my dresser.

Right?

I’m sure you have a few friends you need to send this to. It would be a crime not to share, really.

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