Think homework sucks for kids? Once your child has brought home Rocket Math, it sucks even worse for parents.
Education Humor

Rocket Math (or Why Homework Sucks)

Think homework sucks for kids? Once your child has brought home Rocket Math, it sucks even worse for parents.

By Gina Sampaio of Sister Serendip

So, uh . . . you got kids?

Do they go to school? Are they old enough to have homework? Do they have . . . Rocket Math? Or Mad Minutes? Or some other kind of name that attempts to disguise a timed (read: stressful for some kids) at-home math test as a super fun game??

If so, you know that Rocket Math means homework for you, too. Two minutes doesn’t sound that long, but when you’re helping multiple kids with homework while trying to cook dinner and get them ready for soccer, it can be a tight squeeze. If it wasn’t every single night, I wouldn’t mind as much. And I guess when it comes down to it, I’m not the biggest fan of homework anyway, especially for my younger kids. They work hard all day, as made evident by all the papers coming home and how tired my first grader is. After school I really want them to just play, chill, read and generally enjoy themselves.

As I helped my third grader with his Rocket Math last week, I started getting a little punchy and belting out “Rocket Ma-aaa-aath!” to the tune of Elton John’s “Rocket Man.” Naturally, I had to then write lyrics for the entire song (See also: trying to juggle five kids, cook dinner, get ready for soccer. No time for helping with homework but plenty of time for rewriting lyrics. Hey, I know my strengths.)

So if you are an occasionally frustrated homework helper or a homework-doer yourself, cue up this karaoke version of “Rocket Man” and sing along! I’m particularly fond of the last verse, written with some help from my 13 year old.

Mom unpacked my bag last night, after school

Zero hour, four pm

But I wanted to fly my kite right then

I miss my yard so much, I miss my life

Summer was so great

It was such a stress-less time

And I think it’s gonna take a long, long time

To get my homework done so I can find

Time to hang out with my friends and play

Oh no, no, no . . . No more rocket math

Rocket Math

Two minutes never seemed so very long

Math ain’t the kind of thing to teach your kids

In fact, it’s dull as hell

And there’s a calculator on my phone—- anyway

And all this science I don’t understand

It’s just my class five days a week

No rocket math, no rocket math . . .

This post originally appeared on Sister Serendip.

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About Gina Sampaio

Gina Sampaio is her computer tech husband’s worst client. She is, however, pretty good at writing, acting, crafting and cooking. She blogs about open transracial adoption, five kids, sexual assault survival and the daily shenanigans of a large creative family at http://www.sisterserendip.com

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