By Audrey Sanchez of Two Dogs, One Cat, and a Baby
“Dementors…infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them… Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself… soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.” – Description of Dementors
Werewolves emerge with a full moon.
Zombies transform with a bite.
My wicked child, the dementor,
Comes alive at the cover of night.
All day long, she’s smiling.
Playing, and laughing with glee.
Bedtime comes and a switch flips,
She clings, climbs, and latches to me.
She awakens at regular intervals
To feast at my great weary breast.
My wicked child, the dementor
Is hellbent on getting no rest.
In the dark, she looks unlike herself.
Tempers flare and I feel at a loss.
Every night I’m defeated,
By this pint sized, soul sucking boss
Just when I’m sure I can’t take it,
She settles in for the night.
Plump full of milk and my pleading,
Snuggled up until morning light.
My wicked child, the dementor,
Has transformed again at dawn.
Her fangs replaced by a smile,
Clouds of darkness and anger, long gone.
We fill our days with laughter,
And snuggles and kisses galore.
Praise for the love or I wouldn’t
Make it through even one night more.
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Just want to make it abundantly clear: this is satire.
My child is NOT actually a mythical, soul sucking demon.
She’s perfect and brilliant and routinely sleepless, which makes me exhausted and grateful and caffeinated.
This piece was originally published on Two Dogs, One Cat, and a Baby
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About the Author
Audrey Sanchez is originally from a town in Kansas so small it has only one stop sign. Since then, she’s called Boulder, New Orleans, and most recently Kansas City home. Mother to toddler Ada, dogs Clyde and Fancy, and cat Hushpuppy, Audrey blogs about her interspecies parenting adventures at www.twodogsonecatandababy.com In addition to the chaos that her many critters bring, Audrey spends her time laundering cloth diapers, getting ready to go but never really making it to the gym, and fantasizing about REM cycles.