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Microsoft Is Discontinuing Paint and Now How Am I Supposed to Crop My Laptop Screenshots?

Microsoft announced it will be getting rid of Paint in its next Windows 10 update and I don’t even know what to do with my life anymore.

If you, too, are a member of what is now being dubbed the Xennial generation, you know all about growing up analog and transitioning to digital as an adult. And you also probably know all about how Paint was a critical component of that transition.

I mean, shoot, I still use Paint for all kinds of things. Things like cropping screenshots taken from my laptop when I need to send a visual example of the error message I keep receiving to tech support but also don’t want them to see that I’ve been surfing funny goat videos during work hours.

Or drawing penises on pictures of that one uncle who still thinks it’s funny to bring up the time I embarrassed myself at the family reunion in second grade.

Or creating creepy ransom notes for the garden gnome I stole from my best friend’s yard because I have so much free time, you see.

You know, the usual stuff.

There is good news, though. Apparently a version of Paint, called Paint 3D, will still be available, but that’s of no use to me because I stopped upgrading my stick-figure-drawing software right after college. Paint 3D? I have no idea what the hell that is. Sounds complicated, and besides, I’m still a 2D kind of gal, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Also getting the ax in Microsoft’s next update are Outlook Express and the Reader App (which I haven’t used in longer than I can remember, but STILL).

I’m all for changing with the times, I GUESS, but why do they have to go and mess with staples like Paint? Next thing you know they’ll be getting rid of flip phones, too.

Wait, what’s that? They basically already have? Well, shit.